Elise Dutton’s Diary

In spite of my promise to Nicholas, the next day at work I treated Zoey coldly. I was still angry, hurt, and jealous, a perfect storm of emotion. Even if Nicholas wasn’t really mine, Zoey didn’t know that. She had scores of men and she went after mine. I’d never forgive her for being so cruel.

A little before noon Zoey brought a package into my office. “Here’s your present,” she said softly.

I glanced up only for a second, then went back to my work. “Just put it on the chair.”

“Okay,” she said. She didn’t leave my office.

After a minute I said, “Do you need something?”

“Elise, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I asked innocently, forcing her confession.

“I had too much to drink last night and I hit on Nicholas at the party. I feel really bad.”

“Why would you do that to me?” I asked, unleashing my anger. “What have I ever done to you?”

“I’m so sorry.” Her eyes began welling up with tears. She wiped at them. “I’m an idiot, I know it. And just so you know, Nick didn’t go for it for a second. He’s completely loyal to you.”

I still wasn’t in a mood to forgive her, so I didn’t say anything. Zoey started crying in earnest. She continued. “When I got home I was really mad at myself. I thought, What’s wrong with me? Why would I do that? Elise is such a good person.” She grabbed a Kleenex from my desk. “The thing is, I’m just really insecure inside. I have this need to prove myself. It’s like . . .” She shook her head. “This isn’t coming out right.” She took a deep breath, then said, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m just really jealous of you. Because, Nick is really great and he really loves you, and the guys I meet just love my body and the way I look and no one wants to keep me, they just want to use me. But Nick loves all of you. Inside and out. And you deserve that. You deserve a nice guy like him. You really do.” I couldn’t believe that Zoey was jealous of me. She looked at me, then said, “I’ll quit bothering you. But I’m sorry.” She turned to go.

“Zoey,” I said.

She slowly turned back, wiping her eyes.

“I understand.”

“You do?”

“I didn’t know you felt that way. I’ve judged you wrong. I’m sorry.”

After a minute she said, “Can I give you a hug?”

“Yes.”

I stood while Zoey came around my desk and put her arms around me. “I’ll never do that again,” she said. “I promise.”

“I know you won’t.”

“If I can do anything to make it up to you, just ask.”