He begins in a mockingly grandiose baritone. “I, Jamie McCue, being of sound body and mind, do hereby declare that on the twenty-second day of the month of April in the year 2010, I entered the property known as the Manse without permission, whilst looking for my sister, under the impression that it was unoccupied. I offer most humble apologies for the unintended intrusion and promise never to do it again. I also promise to try harder to leave the toilet seat down, to attempt to keep my feet off the train seats and to try to curb my rants about the incompetent eejit who runs First ScotRail. Oh, and to floss more.” I hit stop on the Dictaphone app, uncomfortably aware that my cheeks have flushed defensively. “Happy?” he asks, his dark eyes dancing.

“You want to be a little more respectful,” I say severely, but in truth I know I’ve lost the upper hand now. “I could still call the police, you know.”

“Well, that would be a real shame,” he says, moving round the table. “We’re neighbors. We ought to be getting to know each other.” He looks back over his shoulder at me as he heads toward the front door. “Especially since our parents were pals, you ken.”

I want to bite, really I do, but I’m determined not to give him the satisfaction. “Is that so? Well, good-bye then. I would say let’s do this again, but really, let’s not.”

He glances at me as if he wants to say something further, but instead he turns back to the front door and opens it, peering into the blackness beyond. The frost-tinged April air has been waiting for its chance to enter; it wastes no time in enveloping me in its cold embrace. “You dinnae have a torch or something I could borrow? It looks like the clouds have come in now.”

“Nope,” I say cheerfully, starting to close the door on him so that he has to step out into the darkness. “Off you go. Night.” I see the amusement gleaming in those dark eyes as I close the front door firmly on him. After a moment, I swing the door open again. “Oh, Jamie,” I call. He turns questioningly. He’s far enough away that I have to raise my voice. “Perhaps you’d be so kind as to make sure your sister knows the house is occupied.”

I have the sense that he grimaces, but really it’s too dark to tell. Still, his voice finds its way to me through the blackness. “Aye, for sure. Bye then.”