She drew a sharp breath. “Oh, really?”

“I know you will.”

“Oh, you know I will?” The confidence she felt alone in the room with Lesley had vanished. She didn’t have the strength to argue with Trevor for long.

“I met his dad,” Trevor said. “He’s freaking out. Jeremy’s really fucked up.”

“That was the point. As you know.”

“I just don’t think you want to do this. I mean, I don’t think you want to have done it. You don’t want this on your conscience. It’s not right.”

“Of course it’s not right, you asshole!” she screamed. “None of this is right! They did this. This is on them.”

“I think you’ll regret it,” he almost whispered. “What if you get caught?”

Claudia stared at him, her eyes flashing. Was he really doing this to her? A million words came rushing into her mouth but she wasn’t going to say any of them. She wasn’t going to explain herself. She wasn’t going to spend another ounce of energy on this fucking traitor.

“Fuck off, Trevor,” she said finally.

“Claudia—”

“Bye.”

Claudia pushed him into the hall and slammed the door shut. Fury rose and radiated inside her. She grabbed a pillow and pressed it to her face, screaming so hard her throat burned with the effort. Deep breath, then again. The scream roared and scratched, like the rage that spawned it was clawing through the muscle and bone and skin. She wiped her leaking face with the pillow and threw it at the window. Fourteen floors below, the city was moving. Lights flashing a party every square inch. She imagined herself pushed into a cab: Come on, Claudia, what’s wrong? It’ll be fun, Claudia. It’s a party, Claudia. Everybody knows you like parties. She filled up a glass of water at the bathroom sink and drank it with her eyes closed. She picked up her toothbrush and her pills, looked around to make sure she hadn’t left anything else, and put them in the zipper pocket inside the duffle. Two thousand dollars for a go-bag. Why had she bought this ridiculous thing? Because for a few moments in Macy’s, surrounded by designer bags, she’d been able to recapture the ease of her life before: pick an item, charge it, take it home, enjoy it, show it off. It wasn’t happiness but it was, she understood now, power. Power she wanted back.