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Dedication

For my sister

PART 1

CLAUDIA

The details of whatever happened were gone from her mind, but present all over her body. Claudia dropped her hand below the stiff dorm bed and felt for a water bottle. It was nearly empty, but she sucked the liquid down and it was enough to get her sitting. Upright, there was pain. Her skirt was bunched around her waist, and her underwear was gone. She stood and as she took off the skirt she noticed it was damp. Claudia brought it to her face, then recoiled: unmistakably urine. But the bed wasn’t wet. In the corner of the room she found a pair of shorts. She pulled them on and dragged herself across the common area to the bathroom.

When she sat on the toilet Claudia cried out. The sting was shocking and prolonged; the soreness deep as a canyon. She was going get a UTI. Do I have a pill for that? That was the first question she asked herself. And the answer was no. She’d used the last one when she hooked up with Ben Herman over Christmas and never managed to call in a refill. So, it was going to be a call to her family’s doctor, who might mention the request to her mother. Or a visit to NYU’s health center. The health center made her think of herpes. Did he use a condom? That was the first question she couldn’t answer. Because, who was he?

There was no paper on the roll and when she looked down she saw blood. Claudia feebly wiggled her hips and pulled up the shorts.

When she filled up the water bottle at the sink Claudia had to confront the mirror. Her lip was split and had bled onto her chin. Her right eyelid was purple, swollen half shut. She stood in the windowless bathroom for a long time, waiting for the shock to fade. Waiting to find something familiar in the face there. But the familiar was gone.

She ran the water until it was warm, cupped her hands beneath the tap, and brought them to her face. Twice, three times. She rubbed lightly and the caked red on her chin loosened, ran pink into the sink. Where can I hide until this goes away? As much as it sucked, the dorm—mostly empty for spring break—was probably best.

She pushed aside the moldy shower curtain and turned the tap to hot.

EDIE