“You’re halfway through this, Jeremiah. You need to see it out to the end. I know it isn’t easy for you, with what’s happened, but quitting now isn’t going to change any of it. And these next months can give you some time. Some perspective.”

“I don’t need perspective,” he said. “I need to go home and be with my son.”

“These next six months here might be useful to you,” she said. “It may help to prepare you for the life you’ll be going back to. Things will be different now. You’ll be raising your son on your own. You might take some cues from the clone. Watching how he handles things might make it easier for you.”

“How he handles things? Really? You think that’s what I’m worried about? I know how to handle things. I want to get out of here and handle them. I want to get back to my son. He needs me. He needs his father.”

“This project needs you. There are billions of dollars in government funding at stake here, Jeremiah. Surely you can understand that this is worth a few more months of your time. It is worth finishing. And I’m here to help you. And you have Brent, too. You’re not alone, you know.”

Jeremiah cringed and balled his fists on his lap.

“You think I care about this experiment? I don’t give a fuck about the money or the science.” He stopped himself before he gave anything away out of anger. He took a deep breath and looked at the wall.

“Jeremiah,” she said after a moment, “I think you and I should take the Meld again. I need a closer look.”

He tried to conceal his alarm. Meld was the last thing he wanted right now. He couldn’t hide anything from her under the Meld.

“I don’t know,” he tried, “I don’t like that idea. I don’t think I want to go through that right now. Besides, we just took it.” He looked her square in the eyes. “Surely you can see that it’s dangerous, Natalie.”

She said nothing at first. But she didn’t deny it. She couldn’t.

“I know it can be frightening to face your own feelings,” she said finally, “but it’s important. I need a comparative baseline here. I think it’s warranted, under the circumstances. You’ve been through a lot. We need to really see how you’re doing, Jeremiah. This is all part of the program, and I believe it will help.”

“Well, when would we take it exactly?” he floundered.

“Now.”

He scrambled for a way out of it. There was absolutely no way he was taking that drug now. He couldn’t risk her catching a glimpse of what he knew, of what he was planning.

“If it’s all the same to you,” he said in as calm a tone as he could muster, “I’d rather hold off on it for a while. I want to think about things privately for a few days, maybe a week. I need a chance to think about what’s going on in my life, sort my thoughts out in my own head before I have to share them.”