Allen shook his head.

“Right now, you’re staring. What do you see?”

“I see people’s faces, but only the eyes and noses and weird colors. I see bad things happening to people. They fall in front of cars, they fall down cliffs, they’re drowning.”

Dr. Brown observed Milligan sitting silently, as if watching an inner screen. “Tell me about things at home, Billy. The family. ”

“Chalmer likes Jim. He hates me. He’s yelling at me all the time. He’s driving two people into hell. I lost my job at the grocery. I wanted to lose it so I could stay home with Mom, so I pretended to steal a bottle of wine, and they fired me.”

On March 19, Brown noticed that his patient was wearing a turtleneck shirt and blue jacket that gave him an almost effeminate look. “It is my opinion,” he wrote after the session, “that this patient should no longer be managed on an outpatient basis and could well benefit from residential therapy in the Columbus State Hospital Children’s Adolescent Unit. Arrangements were made with Dr. Raulj for his admission. Final diagnosis is hysterical neurosis with many passive-aggressive features.”

Five weeks after his fifteenth birthday, Billy Milligan was committed by Dorothy and Chalmer to the childrens unit of the Columbus State Hospital as a “voluntary” patient. Billy believed that because of all his complaining and his bad behavior, his mother had decided to keep Chalmer and give him away.

(3)

Columbus State Hospital Record —CONFIDENTIAL

March 24—4:00 p.m. Injury occurred during a fight between this patient and another patient, Daniel M—Injury involved a cut below the right eye. Injury occurred while fighting in the hall outside sleeping rooms on RV3 about 4:00 pm. Apparently William and Daniel were playing. William became angry and struck Daniel and then Daniel struck William. Patients separated.

March 25—Patient was found with a case knife on his person also found a small file on the ward which he had taken out of the wood shop. Dr. Raulj talked with the patient and he stated he wanted to kill himself. Placed in seclusion and suicidal precautions.

March 26—Patient has been fairly cooperative. Complains periodically of seeing weird things. Patient, did not participate at recreation. Just sat alone most of the time.

April 1—Patient was screaming that the walls were closing in on him and he didn’t want to die. Dr. Raulj took him in seclusion and warned him about having cigarettes and matches.

April 12—Patient starts acting out about bedtime the last few nights. He asks us if he is in a trance. Patient wanted extra medication tonight. I explained to patient he should try to get to bed. Patient became hostile and belligerent.

(4)

“Jason” threw the temper tantrums. He was the safety valve who could siphon off excess pressure by screaming and shouting. He was introverted until it came time to release tension. Jason was the one put into seclusion in the “quiet room” at Columbus State Hospital.

Jason had been created, at the age of eight, ready to explode with emotion, but he was never allowed to come out—if he did, Billy would be punished. Here in the Columbus State Hospital, when the fear and pressure became too strong, Jason cried and screamed and vented his emotions.