“That’s a good game,” Jimbo said. “Let’s play it again tomorrow night.”

Billy lay there in the dark before falling asleep, thinking that was probably the real explanation for the buzzing. He had probably been inventing the game in his head—making the buzzing sounds without realizing the others in the house could hear him. That probably happened to a lot of people. Just like losing time. He figured everybody lost time. He’d often heard his mother or one of the neighbors say, “God, I don’t know where the time went” or “Is it that late?” or “Where on earth did the day go?”

(2)

The Teacher remembered one Sunday vividly. It was a week after April Fool’s Day. Billy, who had turned nine seven weeks earlier, had noticed Daddy Chal watching him constantly. Billy picked up a magazine and glanced through it, but when he looked up he saw Chalmer staring, sitting stone-faced with his hand to his chin, his empty blue-green eyes watching everything he did. Billy got up, put the magazine neatly back on the coffee table and sat on the couch the way he’d been told to, feet flat on the floor, hands on his knees. But Chalmer kept looking at him, so he got up and went out on the back porch. Restless, not knowing what to do, he thought of playing with Blackjack. Everyone said Blackjack was a vicious dog, but Billy got along with him. When he looked up, he saw Chalmer staring at him through the bathroom window.

Frightened now, wanting to get away from Chalmers gaze, he went around the house to the front yard and sat there shivering although it was a warm evening. The paper boy tossed the Gazette to him, and he got up and turned to bring it into the house, but there was Chalmer watching him through the front window.

All the rest of that Sunday and that evening, Billy felt Chalmers eyes boring into him. He began to tremble, not knowing what Chalmer was going to do. Chalmer didn’t say anything, didn’t speak, but the eyes were there, following every move.

The family watched Walt Disney s Wonderful World of Color, and Billy stretched out on the floor. From time to time, he would look back and see Chalmers cold, empty stare. When he moved to sit close to his mother on the couch, Chalmer got up and stomped out of the room.

Billy couldn’t sleep much that night.

Next morning, before breakfast, Chalmer came into the kitchen, looking as if he hadn’t slept much either, and announced that he and Billy were going to the farm. There was a lot to be done.

Chalmer drove the back way, the long way, to the farm, never speaking a word the whole trip. He opened the garage and drove the tractor into the bam. Then Billy closed his eyes. He felt pain …

Dr. George Hardings statement to the court recounts the event: “The patient reports … that he suffered sadistic and sexual abuse including anal intercourse from Mr. Milligan. According to the patient this occurred when he was eight or nine over the course of a year, generally on a farm when he would be alone with his stepfather. He indicates that he was afraid that the stepfather would kill him insomuch as he threatened to ‘bury him in the bam and tell the mother that he had run away.’”