Then Jean-Claude, a deeply tanned probably white guy with short brown hair and more muscles than his namesake, if Rowan is correct in assuming Malcolm was going for a Van Damme reference and the guy’s name isn’t actually Jean-Claude.

By now it seems clear that Malcolm has no interest in learning anyone’s name.

A Korean guy is next, and even Rowan could have guessed what his nickname would be. Leg Day. As in, the guy probably never does it if his scrawny legs and massive gym-sculpted chest and torso are anything to go by. He’s young, early twenties maybe, with overly styled and gelled black hair and an attractive face. The frat boy look is broken only by the scar running from his temple to his cheek.

Next are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, who don’t look anything alike except for the matching red button-up shirts and black bow ties they’re wearing. (Seriously? Rowan thinks.) “You two plan your outfits or somethin’? Never mind, I don’t care. You’re both hot, you’re in. Fuckin’ Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum,” he hears Malcolm say. He doesn’t actually specify which man is meant to be Dee and which Dum, and Rowan can’t decide if that’s better or worse than the other nicknames so far.

One of them is Japanese, with a swimmer’s build, high cheekbones, and short, neatly coiffed black hair. He’s an inch or two taller than the other man, though the latter has at least thirty pounds of muscle on the former. He’s white with model-messy sandy hair and a figure that looks sculpted through physical labor rather than at the gym.

After them comes The Rock, and yeah, Rowan has to hand it to Malcolm. He does kind of look like The Rock. An older man, probably in his forties, with a medium complexion and no hair except for a goatee. His musculature rivals that of his namesake, save for the slight paunch around his belly and thighs.

Then comes Cupcake. Rowan has no idea where he got that name from, since the guy is at least six four or six five and built like a strongman. He has dark skin, long black hair in neat twists pulled back into a low ponytail and accentuated with colorful beads, and a short but full beard. It might be the beads, he thinks. Something about sprinkles?

Finally there’s Tats, which is the least original of the names. He looks Middle Eastern, with deep olive skin, dark hair that’s tied into a bun, and stubble on his face. An athletic body and cheekbones that give even Malcolm’s a run for their money. And of course full sleeve tattoos on both arms in a variety of colors and designs.

From the lineup, it’s pretty hard to tell if Malcolm has a type other than big. Only one of his picks is the same height as Malcolm is—Shortstop—but his musculature makes up for his lack of height compared to everyone else.