Gene picks up a fragment of shell and tosses it at an incoming wave. ‘Try to understand, it’s been very hard for her. She’s led a lonely life.’

Sam lies back on his elbows, the sound of surf deadening in his ears. ‘Dad … I’m thinking about quitting football.’

‘Well, now that is a pretty big decision. What brought this on?’

‘My teammates. They think I’m sandbagging it.’

‘Maybe you’ve spoiled them.’

‘Selfish bastards … all they care about is themselves. These guys’re supposed to be my friends.’

‘There are all sorts of friends. Some inoculate us against pain, others walk out the minute there’s trouble. It doesn’t necessarily make them bad people, it just means they were probably never really good friends to begin with.’

Sam gazes at the stars. Says nothing.

‘Are you thinking about turning pro, or are you intending on quitting football altogether?’

‘Quitting, I guess.’ The stars blur. Sam pinches away tears. ‘It’s … complicated. I … I don’t think I can compete at the same level anymore.’

‘Because of one off game?’

‘Dad, I can’t … I just can’t do it anymore.’

‘Well, you know what? I’m glad.’

‘You are?’

‘Sure. For someone sitting on top of the world, you don’t seem very happy.’

‘They’ll label me a quitter.’

‘Who cares? As long as you know it’s not true.’

‘A lot of people will be very upset.’

‘Yes, the world will certainly be disappointed, but the sun should still rise, and the birds will still sing, so how bad can it be?’

‘I feel like I’m letting everyone down. Maybe I should just suck it up and deal with it?’

‘Maybe it’s time you asked yourself why you’re playing football?’

Sam looks up. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Do you remember Rabbi Steinberg’s sermon on Tikkun Olam and Tikkun Midot?’

‘Not really.’ Sam grins. ‘Sorry. Guess I didn’t make a very good Jew either, huh?’

Gene ignores the remark. ‘ Tikkun Olam means to mend the outside world. Tikkun Midot deals with acts of internal healing. Tikkun Midot is a self-awareness that enables you to reach beyond the natural and instinctive, past the reflexive and knee-jerk responses, in order to refine the soul. It means we have recognized the need to turn our lives in a better direction.’

‘I thought I was going in the right direction.’

‘Success and prosperity doesn’t necessarily equate to living a good life. Something’s obviously bothering you about your future. Whether you choose to play football or not should be your decision, not your peers’. You can’t allow your friends to make their agenda yours. I think Philip Roth expressed it best when he wrote, “The human stain that touches all that we do is inescapable.” Do you understand?’

‘All but that last part.’