I shook my head. ‘I never know what I think about things. I tell myself I do but it’s just bravado.’ I sniffed. Shivered. Wondered why I was telling him this. ‘It shook me up, what happened to Fairfax. I don’t know, maybe I just feel as though I’ve missed out on somebody who would have been good to know. Maybe I was wrong to try and stay out of everybody’s way. Maybe I could have made a friend.’

He considered me and I saw myself reflecting in his eyes. Saw the twin outlines of my ridiculous self.

‘You’re young to be so clever,’ he said, at last. ‘And aye, ye’d have got on with Fairfax. Ye’d probably have reminded him of his boy.’

‘Christopher? I’ve heard he was a writer.’

‘Aye, he were a good lad. Looked a bit soft but he weren’t. Put Pike on his arse.’

‘I’ve heard of Pike …’

‘Off his ’ead, he is. And he liked winding Chris up. Chris were quiet as ye like but Pike pushed him a bit far and Chris nearly took his head off. Took half a dozen of us to get him off. Pike took it better than ye’d think, to be honest. Didn’t burn the house down or cut his head off the way you’d have feared. Got on OK with Chris after that. Not exactly friends but some kind of respect if nowt else. I reckon Pike were as upset as any of us when Chris got killed.’

‘Did Pike go to war?’

Loz gave a grin. He took the thermos from me and poured himself a drink. ‘So he says. Certainly went away for a couple of years and came back more bloody off his ’ead than before but for all we know he could have been doing a stretch in prison. He says he don’t like to talk about it but he talks an awful lot for somebody so keen to be silent.’

I nodded. Eyed Loz’s cup. He passed it to me without a word. His finger brushed mine as I took it from him. His skin was rougher than I expected, like a cat’s paw. I found myself wishing that mine felt the same; that I was somebody who knew this land and worked this land and bore its scars and callouses upon my hide.

‘Harvest moon,’ said Loz, suddenly. He was looking past me, at the darkening sky. ‘Be a hell of a view from your place tonight if clouds lift. I’ve seen ’em red as blood, love. But weather like this, it’ll look like a bruise. I’d best get ye back before God pulls the curtains closed.’

I found myself smiling. I liked this man. Wondered what he thought about me and then instantly despised myself for thinking it. I found myself becoming flustered.