Cyber Suitor

After my newfound resolve following the matchmaker debacle, I found myself back in Liv’s living room the following Tuesday night. My friends and I had collectively decided—for the sake of humankind—that Hannah was officially banned from the matchmaking business, and thereby forbidden from setting any two people up on a date. Ever. With that out of the way, the rest of us quickly began searching for other options. The last thing I wanted was to put my fate back in the hands of my parents—or Seema the matchmaker—so whatever we could find, we had to come up with fast.

“You should date online,” Liv suggested.

“Oh, c’mon Liv, I’m not that desperate,” I said. However, as soon as the last of these words left my mouth, I knew I wasn’t convincing anyone. I had just been deemed unmatchable by a person who matched people for a living. With zero prospects on the horizon and less than three months to find a husband, of course I was desperate.

In my mind, I knew online dating was a perfectly viable option. Everyone and their mom was online dating these days. It was how most people my age met their significant others. The success stories were there, but for some reason, a part of my brain still reserved online dating solely for losers, social outcasts, and serial killers—even though logically, I knew this was no longer the case. It was just that in all my fantasies of falling in love over the years, I had factored in picturesque meadows, synchronized dance routines, and slow-motion hair flips, but never swiping right. I just imagined I would meet someone the old-fashioned way: in the international foods aisle at the grocery store. Or at a Bombay Jam fitness class as we thumka-ed our way into each other’s heart. I never thought my real-life circumstances would become so dire that I would be forced to resort to virtual options. But this was ultimately what it had come to.

“Trust me, Leila,” Liv coaxed, clearly sensing my hesitation. “Everyone online dates. Even I’ve tried it.”

“You have? When?” I asked, slightly taken aback. For as long as I had known Liv, since our junior year of high school, she was always in a relationship. Even her current relationship with Dreamy Darian had been going strong for more than two years. I’d always assumed she was just lucky when it came to the opposite sex. With her jet-black hair and alabaster skin, men were drawn to her like macaroni to cheese. I never would’ve guessed that someone like her would have to go online to find a date.

“Remember Alejandro? That Brazilian guy I dated a few summers ago?”

I nodded.

“I met him on eHarmony back when it was trendy,” she continued.

“No way,” I sputtered in complete disbelief. “You never told me that!”

“Well, you never asked.” Liv shrugged. I had presumed Liv had met Alejandro at a club or something, but thinking back on it, I should’ve known that serendipitous encounters with hot Brazilians didn’t just happen by chance in the suburbs of L.A. Once Liv had made this admission, I was surprised to learn that the others had had their own forays into the world of online dating.