If this conversation was going to go anywhere, I had to figure out a way to get the ball rolling. So when the silence finally became unbearable, I turned to Anwar and asked him what kinds of things he did for fun. He looked at me and furrowed his bushy eyebrows, which up close seemed to be magnified behind the thick lenses of his glasses. I could tell by his expression that I had already lost him at the word fun. “Let me rephrase,” I said, trying not to let my discomfort show. “What do you do when you’re not working?”

“Well,” he began in that same monotonous tone, “the life of a medical resident is quite intense. When I’m not at work, the majority of my time is spent studying and reviewing terms and procedures, filling out paperwork, and catching up on my beauty sleep.” He chuckled and pushed back his glasses. I smiled politely and mentally crossed #4: SENSE OF HUMOR off the list. It was becoming apparent that the qualities my parents found appealing in Anwar didn’t share the same order of importance as the ones on my list. While most American women, like myself, considered a sense of humor to be an important aspect of determining compatibility, South Asian parents felt this trait was far less significant in comparison to a groom’s profession or height.

“I also enjoy watching medical dramas,” Anwar continued.

“Medical dramas?”

“Yes, like Grey’s Anatomy, ER, and Scrubs.”

I looked at him quizzically. “So even your hobbies are somehow related to work,” I stated rather than asked.

He grinned. “I mean, I’m sure you’re the same. Aren’t you thinking about your students all the time?”

I thought for a moment. Typically, when that two thirty bell rang, I jetted out of my classroom at full speed—sometimes even knocking over a student or two in the process. I liked my job an acceptable amount, but once the school day ended, work was the last thing on my mind.

“Well, I wouldn’t say all the time,” I finally said. I found it odd that Anwar was so obsessed, for lack of a better word, with his job. He seemed so sheltered. Completely caught up in his own little bubble. I wondered if he even had room in his life for anything other than work.

“Hmm” was all he said as he rested his index finger against his chin and frowned. The silence indicated that he was just as confused by my response as I was by his.

After a few more awkward, uncomfortable minutes, I remembered that it was my job to carry the dreadful conversation, so I said, “Surely you must have some questions for me?”

“Yes, of course,” he replied hesitantly. “I’ve actually been quite curious about your family history.”

“Oh, really?” I said, surprised. I was expecting that he might be more curious to learn about me before delving into my family; however, I figured it was at least a good sign that he was showing some interest in something other than his profession.