I stumbled over but didn’t see anything other than a few herbs and the goblet. I slammed my hands down in frustration, and something from the shelf above me fell down, landing next to my hand. My eyes widened, taking in the small set of keys, shaped suspiciously like the large lock on my wrist cuffs.

Severn is away this week.

My body shook as possibilities ran rampant in my mind. I could easily free myself and shift away. I looked back over my shoulder, wincing as I saw deep gouges on Thad’s chest, self-inflicted as he writhed in agony. I dropped the keys back to the tabletop, rushing over to restrain him.

“Don’t do that!” I jumped on the bed and pried his wrists away from his chest, my eyes stuck on the blood that dripped down his chest, staining the sheets. “What is wrong with you?” I wondered out loud, feeling helpless as sweat covered his face.

I let go of his arms, and thankfully he let them lie at his sides as his body continued to tremble. I grabbed his shirt from the night before and wiped off his face, even as a grunt of pain escaped his lips. I looked back to the table, the glint of the silver keys mocking me. I clenched my eyes shut, pain in my heart. It would only take a minute to unlock my chains and shift back to Lyoness. It was what I wanted, wasn’t it?

You won’t grow any stronger with them running around you like little lap dogs. You’re a queen. Act like it.

I knew where the witches were but hadn’t yet figured out a way to help them escape. I still needed answers about the half-breed children, and I wanted to see the Overlord. God. Damn. It. Was this what it meant to be a leader? I took a deep breath, resisting the urge to yell in frustration.

The feeling of skin rubbing against mine made me open my eyes. Thad’s hand curled around my forearm, using me as an anchor amidst his storm. I guiltily shook him away and slid off the bed. I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t strong enough. I closed my eyes and felt the dark waters rushing in around me. You’re a queen. Act like it. I moved back towards him and hooked my arm under his like he’d just had it.

“What is wrong with you?” I asked, keeping my voice level. “You’ve had these episodes even back at the rebel camp. Is it a demon thing?”

He tore his gaze from my neck, then threw his head back as another massive spasm seized him.

“Talk to me,” he begged as it passed, panting as he fought to recover in between muscle spasms.

“About what?” I replied, taken aback.

“Anything.”

Indignation warred with compassion. He’d dropped me into the pool. He’d insulted me. He’d put me in chains. He’d also shown me that the only one holding me back was me.