“Whoa,” Creed breathed. “I adore you. And I’m slightly disgusted.”

“Also, I’m gay,” Otter said. “So. That probably puts a kink in your plans.”

“Right,” Anna said. “Because I don’t know how to use a strap-on. Ask Creed.” Then she whirled around, hand over her rounded stomach, and stomped back toward the kitchen.

Otter and I stared at Creed.

He fidgeted.

I said, “So, what exactly did she mean—”

“Come see the new countertops in the kitchen!” Creed said quite loudly. “They’re quartz.”

“I have a bad feeling about this,” I whispered to Otter as we followed Creed.

“You’re the one that wanted to ask Anna what to expect during a pregnancy,” he whispered back. “I told you that we should just look it up on the internet.”

“The only things that I could learn off the internet was that some people have a pregnancy kink and others sometimes eat placenta after the child is born.”

“Jesus Christ, what the hell were you looking at?”

“You know I don’t understand how to internet!”

“You’re a teacher.”

“I am aware, thank you. Which is why those damn smartphones go in my desk before every class starts. But it’s okay! I’ve already written down every possible question that we could have and will interrogate—I mean interview, Anna and Creed about them tonight.”

Otter groaned. “Let me see the list.”

“No. You should have made your own if you want one so bad.”

“This isn’t going to end well.”

“Excuse you, this is going to be fantastic. We are going to be the best parents, because we’ll know everything when it happens.”

“Are you guys going to whisper-shout at each other all night?” Anna asked. “Because if you are, I just want to make sure I know you’re going to be wasting my time.”

“Stop whisper-shouting before it’s too late!” Creed whisper-shouted at us.

Anna turned slowly to stare at him.

“You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my entire life,” Creed said quickly.

Anna’s face softened just a little.

We all breathed a sigh of relief.

She turned back toward the stove, where multiple pots were bubbling.

“Come over here,” Creed said to us, glancing nervously at his wife. “Just come right next to me and look how awesome this quartz is.” Right now, he mouthed.

We stepped carefully toward him.

Anna hummed.

We froze.

She stirred one of the pots. It smelled like spaghetti sauce.

“Yeah,” Creed said loudly as he pulled out his phone. “Just look at the little flecks of crystal in the counter. Great, right?” He pointed at his phone, then pointed at me.

I frowned.

“Otter, can I get you anything to drink?” Anna asked. “You know, since your brother apparently doesn’t remember how take care of guests.”

“No, no,” Otter said hastily. “I’m good.”

“Hmm,” she said again but still didn’t turn around.