Which was all very well, thought Emma, for Fee to say, whose marriage was so impervious to change or challenge.

“But aren’t you supposed to make sacrifices?” she said. “Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be about, two people doing for each other things they don’t necessarily want to do for themselves?”

“It’s about two people compromising,” said Fee. “It’s about two people caring for each other and wanting to do as much as they can to make each other happy while still maintaining their own self-respect, which can sometimes get complicated and which, believe me, Emma, is something your father and I are still figuring out together and still sometimes surprising each other by.” She turned to set the rescued bulb into the ground, and covered it, carefully, with earth. She was moving a little stiffly, Emma noticed; maybe her yoga instructor was on holiday again. “Of course we all want to make compromises for our spouse,” she said then, turning back to her daughter. “That’s part of the bargain of marriage, after all. But when compromise gets into sacrifice, then that’s when the territory becomes dangerous, because that’s when resentments build up. And the problem with navigating this territory is that there is no map, because what’s compromise for one person might be the most terrible sacrifice for another. A year in North Dakota is obviously something you wouldn’t have chosen for yourself, but only you can decide whether to agree to it would be a compromise or an out-and-out sacrifice. And Matthew understands that, which makes him a very wise young man, and you a very wise woman for having chosen him.”

“I don’t feel wise right now,” said Emma. “I feel thoroughly confused. I feel that whatever decision I make, I’m hitting my face against a brick wall, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, we’ve been through the possibilities,” said Fee. “You say you don’t want to be parted in your first year of marriage, which I applaud and think is very sensible of you. So either you both go to Lamott or you both stay in London. If you stay, then Matthew misses out on an opportunity he’d like to take advantage of, although if he’s good enough to be suggested for this job, then I’m sure another opportunity would come along for him in time. If you both go, then you make him happy, as well as getting the opportunity to have a year in a new place, experience a different culture, and have a little bit of an adventure, although it would be—”

“In North Dakota,” said Emma.

“North Dakota isn’t so bad,” said Fee. “I think most places can be interesting to live in if you find a way to make them so. You’ve only ever lived in London, after all. It might be good for you to experience living somewhere else. And I believe there are some parts of North Dakota that are extremely pretty.”

“I don’t believe you’ve ever been there,” said Emma. “I don’t believe even Dad’s ever been there.”