After all, he was kind, our Luke. He was so kind. They were not wrong about that, the crying girls. But he also thought that he deserved whatever he wanted, just because he wanted it. He also thought he could do no wrong. And here he was, surrounded by adoring young things, things like the sister he had lost, the sister he had forgotten about, the sister who had died for his thoughtlessness, his irresponsibility. He’d left the burner on. Yes, anyone could make that mistake. Most people do not. She would have been the same age as we were, that summer. Yes, almost exactly. Serena never had to trick him into desiring her, you see. He wanted her from the beginning. He wanted all of us, any of us, but she was the best prize because she was the hardest to reach. The sacred is always obscure; the inverse is also true, in this case.

Of course we all have our weaknesses. We all have our burdens. A place like that would warp any young man’s sense of self. This is not to say he should be forgiven.

When I finally asked Janet why she’d done it, how it had happened, she couldn’t explain. She hadn’t been lying about the panic attacks. They were the reason she was out of bed at night, at least at first. Like she said, walking was the only thing that helped. One night, she had walked until she found herself outside Luke’s cabin. The next time, she’d found herself walking the same way.

“It just happened,” she said, which is what they all say. It is a meaningless sentiment. That is why I believe it.

Here’s a version: Serena was our savior all along. I had been right to worship her. She always knew who Luke was—her only mistake was believing that he had something she wanted. She may have been willing to sacrifice herself for levitation, but she had tried to protect the rest of us. She had even tried to protect Dominique. That’s why she sought me out, the girl doing rota in the garden. It wasn’t because I was like her. We can smell our own. It wasn’t because she needed me, or any “inside man.” It wasn’t because she loved me. It was because she knew exactly what would happen to me if she didn’t. And she was right. It almost happened to me anyway.