“But you did it again?” She puts both of her hands on my shoulders so I’m forced to look at her. “All I’m saying, Emma, is that you might find life a little easier here if you let go a bit. Have a drink, have a smoke, and let go of your inhibitions. You can learn to view sex differently. It can be recreational, adventurous, comforting or just a release. And if you can appreciate people for more than just their looks or how sexually attracted you are to them, you’ll find it hugely liberating.”

I want to ask her if she really believes that, if she never misses the intimacy of loving one person and being loved in return, of crawling into a cocoon of just the two of you and blocking out the rest of the world, but I know she’d never admit to it – none of them would.

“Johan’s a very attractive man.” She glances towards the patio, but he’s long gone. “Kind, too. You could do a lot worse, Emma. A lot worse.”

“Okay, Emma.” Cera points me towards the pile of beanbags in the corner of the meditation room. “If you could put the beanbags out, Isis and I need to go and have a word with Raj.”

She steps out of the room and, with Isis at her side, crosses the hallway towards the kitchen. She doesn’t drift, as she normally does. Her head is up and her shoulders are back, but her arms don’t swing at her side. Each step is heavy, determined. She strides into the kitchen and gestures to Isis to close the door behind them.

What do I do? I could run down to the orchard to warn Sally that they’ve gone to speak to Raj about his relationship with her, but I don’t know her well enough to predict how she’d react. She might thank me and head up to the kitchen, or she might get angry and deny everything. She might tell them that I spoke to her. She might tell Isaac. I can’t risk it. I can’t get involved.

I wince as I bend to pick up a pile of beanbags. The skin on my back is still tight and sore, and the cotton dress, a size too small, rubs at my wounds.

“And this is the meditation room.” I look up at the sound of Isaac’s voice. He steps into the room, followed by three women and a man I’ve never seen before. He glances over at me as the group, all clean and shiny in their cut-off shorts, walking boots and anoraks, chatter excitedly, their faces shining with wonder and apprehension.