“No. I wanted to, but my mum insisted I have an abortion. She said I’d ruin my future and she wasn’t going to sit back and let that happen. She made me an appointment at a clinic but I didn’t go; I hid at Ben’s house, but she came and got me. She told me I’d have to leave the family home if I didn’t get an abortion. I couldn’t bear it, I couldn’t bear the way she was looking at me, at the deep, deep disappointment in her eyes. All I’d ever done was try to make her proud, and—” I take a deep breath and gaze up at the ceiling. The plasterwork is rough and there’s a deep crack running from one corner of the room to the other. “So I did it. I had the abortion two weeks before my A-levels.”

“Wow.” Isaac raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah. I had my first panic attack in my Biology exam. I knew it, I knew the answer, and I was about three hundred words into my essay when my chest tightened and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The room shrank and then I was aware of everyone staring because I gasping, really gasping, and then Miss Hutton started running down the room towards me, and—”

“It’s okay.” Isaac rolls towards me and touches my hand. “It’s okay, Emma. You’re not there now; it’s not happening. It was in the past. It’s gone. It’s over.”

He keeps hold of my hand as I take deep breath after deep breath.

“Okay?” he says when I finally exhale steadily and reach for the tobacco tin. “You all right?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

He releases my hand and watches silently as I slide a Rizla from the packet, sprinkle tobacco into it, then roll it into a tube and lick the glue. When I’ve finished he picks up the lighter, strikes it, and holds it towards me. I light up and take a deep puff on the cigarette.

“Have you ever wondered why you became Daisy’s friend, Emma?”

“Not really. It just happened. We were Freshers together, she chatted to me, it was just one of the those things.”

“You don’t think she subconsciously reminded you of your mum – a woman with a strong personality and a need to dominate?”

“God – I’ve got no idea.” I take another puff, blowing the smoke away from us both.