“So that’s it, then?” I say. “You’re just going to go ahead and cremate her without telling her family? Without telling the Nepalese police what happened? And you think that’s okay?”

Isaac gives me a long, sorrowful look as though I’ll never be able to understand.

“How do you suggest we do that, Emma? We don’t have the internet, phones, or post boxes. Even if we risked these bastards attacking us again on another Pokhara run, then what? We don’t have any contact details for Ruth’s parents. I’m not even sure what her surname was.”

An image of us glibly handing over our passports on our first day flashes into my mind. “What about her passport? If you give that to the British Embassy, they’ll be able to track down her parents, even if she hasn’t filled out their details in the back.”

A dark-haired man sitting in front of me turns and hisses, “Sit down, you’re embarrassing yourself,” but Isaac dismisses him with a wave of his hand.

“Emma’s new. She doesn’t understand.”

The man gives me one last scathing look before he shrugs and turns away.

“Ruth burned her passport after her detox,” Isaac says. “Everyone does when they make the decision to abandon their old selves and become part of our community. It was her decision. I understand why you’re having trouble processing all this, because it’s not what you’re used to. I’ll happily talk it through with you later, if you’d like.”

I want to ask Isaac what a detox is and what it involves, but I don’t want anyone else to shout me down. They’re all staring at me, willing me to sit down and shut up. The air is hazy with incense. I can taste it on my lips, my tongue, at the back of my throat. There’s no air in the room and it’s hot. I glance behind me. Why is the door shut? Frank catches my eye and frowns.

“Would you like that?” Isaac says. “A chat later?”

“Yes,” I say, without looking up. “Yes, fine.”

I’d agree to anything if it meant everyone would stop staring at me.

“Great.” Isaac claps his hands together and smiles, and the atmosphere in the room immediately lifts. “The other thing we need to talk about is security. We haven’t had an issue with it before, but we don’t know who these guys are, or how dangerous they might be, so we need to take precautions. I suggest we start patrolling the grounds at night, just for a few weeks. Johan, you’ll be patrolling with Emma. Isis, you’ll be with Daisy. Cera, you’ll be with Frank. Raj, you’ll be with—”

I stop listening and sink to the floor. Frank reaches out a hand to steady me.