Instead she said quite calmly, proud to hear not the least tremor in her voice, “What do you want?”

The man scowled down at her from across the Help Desk. “I would like to make a complaint.” His voice had a wet, heavy sound.

“This isn’t the Complaints Desk,” said Lenora shortly. “The Complaints Desk is down the stairs, across the hall, over the bridge, past the waterfall, then you take the fifth left after the third right and straight on ’til morning.” Lenora had no idea if there was a Complaints Desk. “You’ll also need ice skates.”

The man chuckled nastily. He laid his walking stick across the Help Desk. The gesture felt too personal. Lenora barely stopped herself from brushing the cane off the desk and onto the floor.

“Oh, I don’t wish to make a general complaint,” he said. “My complaint is specific to you.” He leaned forward, his thick, purplish fingers gripping the edge of the desk. Lenora pulled away in disgust. Everything about this man was odious, even the sweet scent wafting from him, which smelled like something that had been slathered on to mask some other, unpleasant odor.

Lenora was just about to respond when she heard another muffled crash, just like the first, coming from far away, back in the stacks somewhere. When she turned toward the sound, a second man in a bowler hat was standing there.

This second man carried a walking stick, just like the first, but other than that, they could not have looked more different. Rather than a purple puffy face, this man had smooth, fine features, and rather than being stuffed into an ill-fitting overcoat, his coat fit his slender frame perfectly. He beamed at Lenora with a most handsome, pleasant smile.

“At last we meet, my dear little Lenora,” he said in what had to be the friendliest voice Lenora had ever heard. He fixed the first man with a scowl. “I must apologize for the actions of my associate here, as well as all of the others. Their hearts were in the right place, but they went about everything all wrong.”

“Hmph,” the first man huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

The second man turned his pleasant smile back to Lenora, but she did not return it.

“What do you mean, their hearts were in the right place?” she asked. “They tried to strand me in time and space, and trap me on a globe, and stomp me flat!”

“Yes, but they failed, didn’t they?” the second man replied. “You proved to be much too resourceful and courageous for such crude methods. So no harm done.”

“Uh,” said Lenora, not sure how to respond. If you tried to harm someone and failed, it didn’t mean no harm had been done.

“She’s a threat,” spat the first man. “I say we eat her now and get it over with.”