“I just keep going over it in my head,” she says. “I mean… my father doesn’t make things complicated. At least not with me. So explain what he wrote in his note to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what matters about me… what’s that even mean?”

“I think he means that you know how much he loves you,” I say. “And that he’s a good man despite what people may be saying about him.”

“No, that’s not it,” she says. “He meant something else. I know him. I know he meant something.”

“Okay…” I take a deep breath. “Like what?”

But she is shaking her head. She is already onto something else.

“And what am I supposed to do with that money? All that money he left me?” she says. “That’s the kind of money that someone leaves you when they’re not coming back.”

That stops me. Cold. “Your father’s coming back,” I say.

Her face fills with doubt. “How do you know?”

I try to think of a comforting answer. Luckily it also feels like the truth. “Because you’re here.”

“So why isn’t he?” she says. “Why did he take off like he did?”

It feels like she isn’t actually looking for an answer. She is looking to fight when I give her an answer that she doesn’t want. It makes me furious with Owen for putting me in this position, regardless of the reason. I can tell myself that I’m sure of Owen’s intentions—that, wherever he is, he’s there because he is trying to protect Bailey. But I’m left sitting here, without him, anyway. Doesn’t that make me as ridiculous as my mother is? Doesn’t it make me the same as her? Both of us putting our faith in someone else above everything else—calling it love. What good is love, if this is where it leads you?

“Look,” I say. “We can talk about this more later, but you should probably get ready for school.”

“I should get ready for school?” she says. “Are you serious?”

She isn’t wrong. It’s a lousy thing to say. But how can I say what I want to say? That I’ve called her father dozens and dozens of times, that I don’t know where he is. And I certainly have no idea when he’s coming back to us.

Bailey gets out of bed and heads toward the bathroom and the terrible day ahead of her, ahead of both of us. I almost stop her and tell her to come back to the bed. But that seems more about what I need. Isn’t what’s best for her to get out of this house? Go to school? Forget about her father for five minutes?

Protect her.

“I’m going to drop you off,” I say. “I don’t want you walking to school alone this morning.”