Please don’t feel you have to say yes on my account. I’ve told Petra that I don’t hold out great hopes. But I’d like you to say yes on your own account, because I don’t think what you’re doing right now is giving you much sense of satisfaction. And doing what you do best might make you feel happier with yourself.

Think about it.

Take care,

CJ

Tony scrolled back to the top of the message and reread it more slowly, the occasional ironic smile twitching the corners of his mouth. She was good, he had to admit. She’d always been quick, and she’d learned a few neat little tricks along the way. He wondered how long it had taken her to compose something so apparently artless but which was nevertheless clearly calculated to push all his buttons. There was enough information about the cases to whet his appetite, but not enough to allow him to draw the conclusion that they lacked sufficient interest to suck him in.

Oh, and it was very cleverly done. Right down to bait that it would be a black exercise, off the official books, something entirely deniable whether it went right or wrong. ‘And it would be a safe environment to do it in.’ The subtext being, of course, that there would be nobody to see the egg on his face if his skills had gone rusty and he fucked up. He didn’t think Carol believed that would happen, but he understood that she thought he might carry that fear. And she was right, too.

It was tempting. But he wasn’t sure if he was drawn to it for the right reasons. The thought that kept butting its way to the front of his mind was that it would provide him with a legitimate excuse for getting on a plane to Berlin, because naturally he’d have to consult in detail with Petra, who seemed to be in the driving seat of this black operation. And Berlin right now meant Carol. Carol, who could benefit from the support he could offer. Carol, who had never been out of his thoughts since he’d left London.

And that was a dishonest reason for snatching this opportunity. If he went to Berlin for Carol’s sake, his mind wouldn’t be focused on the job he was supposedly there to do. Worse yet, his presence might prove to be the opposite of helpful for Carol. She needed to stay in role as much as possible, and if he kept popping up like a jack-in-the-box, it could damage her ability to maintain Caroline Jackson. Providing insights and reinforcement from a distance was one thing; to be there in person could tempt her to lean too heavily on him. Then if it came to the crunch and she was thrown entirely on her own resources, she might lack the necessary confidence to carry it through.