Walking into her lounge room, Ellie opened the laptop on the small dining table and checked her emails. This was a habit that was hard to break. But there was nothing pressing or even faintly interesting. It occurred to her again that her life was pretty damn empty.

Her mother blamed the divorce as much as what had happened at work for Ellie’s ‘moods’. But Ellie didn’t agree; it was coming up to two years since the divorce and it had been amicable. She knew that her lifestyle hadn’t helped; she and Charlie had grown in different directions, with different interests and friends. Though perhaps regretful at their impulsiveness in not recognising their incompatibility, neither blamed the other, and both Ellie and Charlie had swiftly moved on. It made life simpler, with no joint commitments and no kids to make arrangements for. He earned good money as a senior officer in a government department – Transport – and while, as Ellie had now learned, she wasn’t paid as much as her male colleagues, she had done okay and had put away a decent nest egg.

She knew she’d get snapped up if she put herself out into the IT market. But at what cost? Sophia’s deceit had cut deeply. Talking to Mike had made her realise that she’d lost the drive that used to be so much a part of her personality. Instead she’d just been marking time, retreating to her small but smart apartment.

She sat down on the sofa and thought about what she’d left behind – as she did most nights. Even though the thoughts made her feel tense and sad, she couldn’t stop them coming, almost as if they were on a loop in her mind. Plus, the emptiness of the last couple of months had shown her with more clarity than ever before that functioning under such intense pressure every working day, as she had done, was insane. But even so, she still missed the adrenalin rush.

Ellie had lost count of the all-nighters she’d pulled at work, the weekends she’d spent there, the 4 am starts to a day. And still, as manager of major IT projects, she’d almost never got through her overcrowded inbox. The pressure to always be ahead of the game, brighter, quicker, smarter than the competition, to problem-solve for clients at a moment’s notice as each new obstacle loomed, had been ever-present.

During the day her mind had never stopped whirring, even though she’d sometimes felt burnt out and exhausted. She’d even thought about work ideas in her sleep, her mind spinning through details and scenarios, and she’d made notes on the pad by her bed through the night.

And then, for all her dedication to the company, Sophia and Roger had pulled the rug out from under her in a single stroke and robbed Ellie of any confidence or trust.