“And that pain and damage, it pricks at you, tries to change you, but somehow you manage to separate their decisions from your life and move forward.” Jessa envied the skill. She looked back and reran every failure in her head, tortured herself with the instant replay of her poor decisions. “Look at the Young case.”

Faith sighed. “That family name seems to keep coming up lately.”

“You were accused of hiding the mother, helping to kidnap the child, and you stayed calm. Instead of flipping into denial, you stood in front of the press and gave a speech about how easy it is to violate a protective order and put everyone’s attention back on the husband and abused spouses.” Jessa stepped around the accusations and the ongoing sense more than one family lawyer held, that Faith had assisted the wife in some unknown way.

“Maybe, but I still couldn’t save them. He killed them. I’d bet everything I have on that, and it’s the debilitating part of the job that I keep to myself. Thinking about it, reliving it, would make doing this work impossible.” Faith shook her head. “But I’m still lost about what any of this has to do with Tim.”

“Nothing, really.” Jessa rested her head against the cushions. “It’s more like . . .”

“Just say it.”

I’m a terrible person. “I watched a man die. Before that, I listened to Gabby unravel.” A vicious, empty person consumed by my own needs and getting ahead. “I felt nothing.”

“Okay.” Faith sat up a little straighter. “I think it’s more that you don’t let feelings in.”

“I feel pretty annoyed at Gabby. That snuck in without trouble. You pointed out that we were close once. Not like Gabby thought, but . . . I don’t know. I guess I’m just in this position where good things are happening, but all around me there’s chaos.”

“Except with me.”

“Yeah, you’re solid. You’re always solid.” Decent, smart, beautiful, focused. Jessa should hate her, but Faith never judged. She accepted and supported, providing the type of unconditional love Jessa had spent her whole life chasing.

Faith shrugged. “You’re not empathetic, in general.”

Ouch. “That makes me sound like a psychopath.”

“No. I’m not making a good-person-versus-bad-person comparison. I’m saying you don’t take on other people’s anger and pain. You watch from a distance, not letting their emotional upheaval unbalance you.” Faith leaned forward, reaching her hand across the blanket, and touched Jessa’s foot. “It’s not a bad thing. In fact, in your job, where you deal with so much hate and the blurring between fact and fiction, it’s a necessity.”