In the months after he returned from Afghanistan, Cain had occasional speaking gigs for office workers, politicians, sports teams and schools. He had been in the newspapers, on the morning shows. Still walking with a crutch, bruised and bandaged, but alive. A survivor. This was before the war had soured like old milk in the public’s mouth. Before the inquest. Cain and Axel had been there when Skelton slaughtered that family. I’d never got the full story from Cain – he closed up whenever I tried to talk about it – but the media stories made it clear what had happened.

Axel had said with Cain’s profile and experience he would have clients on a waiting list. He’d said Cain could take large classes. Given the fact he’d basically talked Cain into starting the business, it’s no wonder he props Commando Fitness up financially now.

‘Remember our promise, Cain. No new secrets?’

‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘Why do you mention that now?’

I pause, swallow. ‘I think you’ve kept a couple of things from me. I’ve never asked about your nightmares, about your time in the unit, but I know you’re not yourself lately. I need you to tell me if your business is struggling.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean you’ve stopped paying Axel rent. I mean you never seem to be training anyone and Claire told me Axel wants to give you money to help us out.’

A flash of anger sweeps across his face. ‘Axel insisted I use his space rent free until I’m turning a profit. If he had an issue, he would mention it.’

Maybe, I realise now, it’s Claire who has the issue. Maybe Claire thinks Cain is taking Axel for a ride. ‘Sounds like he’s doing us a favour.’

‘It costs him nothing.’

‘Except it’s costing him customers. Why did you snap at someone there? That’s not you, Cain.’

He clicks his tongue, his cheeks have a hint of colour. He’s keeping secrets from me. ‘Claire shouldn’t have said anything. I feel like a leech. Of course I’m going to pay Axel, when things pick up. That’s all it is.’ He heaves out a sigh.

‘And the nightmares?’

‘It’s fine.’

‘It’s not, you’re not yourself.’

He swallows. ‘It happens sometimes. I remember things from over there. Same old crap.’

I can’t say why, but I’m not sure if I believe him entirely. I need him to talk about it, to squeeze out the poison so he can move on, so he can get his business on track and start to feel good about himself again.

‘I’m always here to talk about it with you.’

He shakes his head.