Many paramedics use drugs, some become addicted. In the medical profession only chemists have greater access to opiates than us. I will be supported with my addiction, they say. The implication being my defence will be addiction, which means a treatment plan and an eventual return to work in a limited capacity with less access to medications. Any real career progression will be permanently shelved. The plan was to be a stay-at-home mum down at the lake house yet this mark against my name still hurts and Cain’s income just isn’t enough. I don’t want to be seen in this way, like my mother, unable to control herself.

At home I go over the conversation with Cain in my head in anticipation.

He’s sweaty when he walks in the door – he had clients today, more than usual. The cynical part of me suspects that, given our new status as the survivors of the infamous WeStay attack, strangers are much more inclined to book in one-on-one time. The photos of him in the paper, taken from his military days, probably added to the appeal. He told me he’s got a wealthy new client who has him booked for three sessions a week, a friend of Axel’s.

‘Hey,’ he says. ‘You’re home.’

‘I am,’ I respond, forcing a smile. ‘I had a meeting this morning, I’m going to be on paid leave.’

He puts his backpack down, and when he straightens, his brow is dropped in scepticism. ‘They just gave you leave because of what happened? Just like that?’

I’m sick of lying to him, but he doesn’t need the added stress right now. ‘Yeah,’ I say.

‘For how long?’

‘Four weeks to begin with,’ I say, guessing at a realistic time frame, although I really have no idea.

‘That’s kind of them. It’ll be nice to have you around the house. You can help me schedule all my new bookings,’ he says. ‘I still think we need to give an interview, Lina. It’s easy money and it’ll put so many of these rumours to bed. Plus I’ll likely see an even bigger spike in new clients. Might even bump my prices up.’

‘No,’ I say, thinking about being interviewed by a journalist. What they might uncover. I’ve never been a great liar, and who knows what might happen if they use body language experts and all the rest. I know it’s an opportunity for Cain to clear up the misinformation, particularly about him being drunk that night.

‘Think about it,’ he says, pinching the front of his gym shirt and pulling it away from his chest. ‘I’d better have a shower.’

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