I delete the message, deactivate my profile on the app and delete it again. Then I open my WeStay app. I create a new account, this time just for me, using my work email. I go back to the booking and click the listing. I see the couples who’ve booked our place.

I find the house in Auckland. The calendar suggests it’s booked out most weekends over the next couple of months but there are a few free nights coming up in the middle of the week. I don’t know why, but I need to understand what happened that night. Why me? Why did he do this? There’s also a chance, as small as it is, that my ring might be there, hidden under the bed. The earliest available night is Wednesday. I could go there Thursday morning on the way home after my shift finishes at 4 am. I fill in my credentials, my email and click book.

I hear Cain’s footsteps coming up the hall towards me. I slide my phone into my pocket.

‘Lina,’ he says, breathless, with laughter still in his voice. ‘Come look at this.’

‘What is it?’

I follow him to his study. It’s just what I thought. I can hear the quick clipped voice of the racing announcer, see the betting page in one monitor and the horses galloping along in the other.

‘Cain, what? What happened?’

He hunches forward and points at something on the screen. I narrow my eyes, lean a little closer.

‘What is it?’

‘I just picked up the trifecta. It’s twenty-one grand!’

‘How did…’ All other words fail me. I just frown at him, confused.

‘I won the trifecta,’ he says. ‘A big trifecta.’ He gives that boyish laugh again. ‘Twenty-one grand, Lina. We just won twenty-one thousand dollars!’

I’m too gobsmacked to do anything other than squeeze him. ‘You won it?’ I grab his waist and pull him against me. A voice in my head nags, How much has he been gambling? How much has he risked and lost? But it doesn’t matter. It’s so much money. Enough to make a lot of our problems disappear.

‘I can pay Axel rent, start advertising for summer. Clear the credit card.’

I sink into him, I try to be happy but I still feel a pang of betrayal or disappointment. He promised no more secrets, but this is a secret. His betting. He’s so happy, I can’t raise this now though. I think about something else, how much we need this money, especially with the baby. Now is the time to tell him.

‘Cain,’ I say. I feel my chest trembling against him. ‘I’ve got news.’

He stops, his smile falters. ‘What?’

‘It’s happened again,’ I say. His eyes go wide. ‘It’s happening, Cain, I’m pregnant.’