George watched his mother demolish a dinner large enough for two men. He smiled to himself. She could certainly put her food away. Gone were the days when her figure was the most important thing in her life.

‘Pass me the salt, someone.’

Nancy held out her hand and Joseph thrust the salt cellar into it. She belched loudly, holding her hand to her chest as if forcing her wind out. Lily and Elaine both pursed their lips in disgust.

‘Better out than in, eh, Georgie boy?’

‘Yes, Mother.’ He smiled at her.

Nancy poked her finger at him, a nasty light in her eyes. ‘Don’t eat too much stuffing now, you know it gives you constipation.’

George blanched.

‘Really, Nancy! We don’t want to discuss George’s digestion at the dinner table!’ Elaine’s voice was high. She could never understand her mother-in-law’s preoccupation with George’s bowels.

Nancy swivelled her huge bulk in her seat to see Elaine better.

‘George is a martyr to constipation. When he was a child it plagued him. Why, the hospital showed me how to give him enemas. Before that I had to give him what was called in those days a “manual”. I had to push my fingers . . .’

‘Oh, for God’s sake! We’re eating!’ Lilian pushed her plate away from her roughly. ‘Can we just for once . . . for one year at least . . . give George’s bloody bowels a rest!’

Nancy sniffed loudly and turned back to her food. ‘You know your trouble, Lilian?’ She shovelled a large forkful of vegetables into her mouth. ‘You’re too namby-pamby for your own good. Eighty-one years I’ve lived because I’ve always watched my bowels. They are the most important part of the body. They get rid of all the bad . . .’

‘Please, Mother.’ Joseph’s voice was strained. ‘As Lily says, let’s leave talk of bowels till later on, shall we? Now then, George, how’s work going?’ Joseph beamed across the table at his brother.

‘Fine.’ Oh, yes, Joseph, my work’s going so well they’re going to kick me out soon. I can’t afford a nice Daimler Sovereign like you. But you know that, don’t you? That’s why you ask me the same question every time I see you. Why Lily goes on and on about your large detached house. Well, it was your large detached house that lumbered you with Mother, wasn’t it?

‘George? Lily’s talking to you.’ Elaine’s voice broke into his thoughts.