When the chief steward came to consult with her on the preparations for the wedding feast, she fought an immediate surge of irritation that she should be expected to manage a feast – until she recalled that the larder, and not the armory, was to be her concern now. Yet she had little recollection of how it should be done, and could only stare at the man stupidly until he began to detail the plans already in place. It became clear that this was mere courtesy, a chance for her to state her preferences, and they were both relieved when she said the matter was well in hand and he need not fear her interference.

A thousand times a day, she wished she could simply walk to the gate house, through the doors, and go to Madog and Davydd, who waited just outside the curtain wall for her command. But there was nothing to command, and so she drifted about the palace hoping her mother would send a message of some kind, any word at all, before an army of cooks began roasting peacocks and pheasants by the score for her wedding.

She had reason to be glad of her new friend when the draper arrived with a great bundle of goods for her to look at. Suzanna had had the presence of mind to bring him to a more private room, away from the great gaggle of court ladies, where there was no one to see how very unenthusiastic Gwenllian was about this task. She ran her hand over a bolt of soft white linen, and thought that it would indeed be nice to have a new undertunic, at least. Only when Suzanna asked why there was no color did she realize that all the cloth presented here was white. The draper revealed that the cloth for the gown was already settled, and that Gwenllian was only to choose a fabric for her undertunic. She wanted to laugh at that. Did he imagine she could see any difference among these many whites?

But Suzanna was scandalized. “What mean you, that the gown is already settled! Whom but my lady may settle such a thing?”

The draper bowed in polite apology. “My lord of Morency did purchase it when he visited my shop yesterday. I have brought a length of it, to aid you in choosing such jewels and embellishments as you may wear.”

Jewels and embellishments. She hoped that was the sort of thing Suzanna might care to attend to, for the very idea that she should wish to embellish a gown was alarming. The only jewels she may lay claim to were at Ruardean. In any case, she was very aware that adorning herself with beauteous things would only draw attention to all her most unwomanly features. Yet it must be done, lest she look a pauper to the court.