“ . . . and Missus Johnson down the road—I’m pretty sure she’s a spy for the Homeland Security International Espionage and Intelligence Spy Division. Always snooping, asking questions, you know. Just the other day, I was taking my garbage out to the road as she was walking by. Do you know what she said to me?”—Mabel didn’t pause long enough for anyone to answer—“She had the nerve to ask me how my health was doing. I tell you right here and now I bet she wants to set up a sting operation from this house once I’m dead and gone, buried like a sack of dirty clothes in the town dump. And Mr. King up by the corner—did you know he has thirteen children? And every last one of them the spawn of the devil or my name isn’t Mabel Ruth Gertrude Higginbottom Fredrickson.”

And so it went for at least another twenty minutes, Tick finally having to pinch himself to stay awake. His dad seemed pleased as could be, smiling and nodding the entire time, throwing out a few “Hmms” and “Uh-huhs” every now and then. Finally, as though she’d exhausted her capacity to use her frail body’s vocal cords, Mabel stopped talking and leaned back in her seat.

“Uh, wow,” Dad mumbled, caught off guard that his aunt had actually quit yapping. “Sounds like your life is a lot more interesting than you let on, Aunt Mabel. We’re sure glad we could come and visit you.” He looked over at Tick, raising his eyebrows.

Tick straightened in his seat. “Yeah, I’m really excited I finally got to meet you.” He raised his cup as if saluting, and immediately felt like an idiot.

“You boys aren’t mocking me, are you?” Mabel asked, her eyes narrowing.

“No!” Tick and his dad said in unison.

“Good. Let’s eat some supper.” She squirmed in her seat, but couldn’t move an inch. “Atticus, dear boy, be a gentleman and assist your elders.” She held out a hand.

Tick jumped up and gently helped her stand, then escorted her into the cramped but cozy kitchen.

A wave of mouth-watering smells bombarded them when they entered, and Tick proceeded to eat the most scrumptious meal he’d had in a long time, which was saying a lot considering how good of a cook his mom was. There were freshly baked rolls soaked in butter, grilled chicken with lemon sauce, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes with chunks of garlic—all of it delicious.

Aunt Mabel talked the entire time they ate, covering every topic from her ingrown toenail to how she’d finally lost her last tooth to decay, but Tick barely heard her, enjoying three more helpings of the fantastic dinner.

~