JOAN. No.

BALVENIE. We need to get you to Rome.

Looks down at the wreck on the ground.

See, I’d still eat that. But I don’t suppose anyone else would, eh?

JOAN says nothing. BALVENIE gets down and starts to scoop up the ruined cakes.

JOAN. Who are you?

BALVENIE. Douglas of Balvenie, Queen Joan. I was at your wedding night.

JOAN. Everyone was at my wedding night.

BALVENIE. Aye, right enough.

You looked fantastic by the way.

JOAN. Don’t.

BALVENIE. No… listen no… I would never… think about you like that.

(Searching for the words.) Looking at you… It’s like looking at the Virgin on a church window. You see? You watch the light stream through her. You’d no more think of touching her than digging up the fields of heaven.

JOAN. You saw him touching me. You all saw him touching me.

BALVENIE. You were a little white flower bending in his wrestler’s hands. That’s what I saw.

JOAN. I don’t like thinking about it.

BALVENIE. Well, when you do, know that I saw a white flower. Think about that.

I’d never harm you. I’ll be your friend, Queen Joan. Always. I think you need one. Don’t you?

You and the King.

Tell him to look to the wee men. Tell him to look to me. All I’m after is a wee bit more land, Queen Joan, enough to bring me up to the big boys’ shoulders. I’m just a flea hopping about with no clue where to go, give me a warm place to land and I’ll prove what my friendship could be worth.

JOAN. We have friends, I have my whole household…

BALVENIE. Ah… right enough.

JOAN. If you’re my friend stop talking sideways! Tell me what you mean.

BALVENIE. Can’t you feel it? There are too many royal Stewarts at the King’s table. And they’re hungry, every one of them could claim…

JOAN (cutting him off). James has the best… the only claim to be King…

BALVENIE. Well, his big brother’s claim was better. And they killed him.

JOAN. His brother was sick…

BALVENIE. He didn’t get sick till Murdac Stewart’s father locked him in a cellar with no food or drink.

It was just over in Falkland Palace there. I can show you the room…

I’m nobody and he’s a king… but I’d take better care of you if you were mine… that’s all I’m saying.

He exits, after a moment she follows.

The Garden, Falkland Palace

Parliament is assembled on a green lawn.

A blast of music announces JAMES’s arrival. The LORDS, CLERGY and COMMONERS are assembled. We get a sense of the crowd. JAMES strides into the middle of them and cuts off the end of the fanfare. He’s furious.

JAMES. No, we’ll not bother with the ceremony. We’ll not bother with the kneeling. Today I’m just going to tell you the law of the land. Easy thing to forget when your lawful King is locked up in England but I’m back to remind you.