If immigrants are only perceived by their capacity to harm it’s because they are seen first and foremost as a burden on the receiving populace. Dioulou and I, however, had developed a system of perfect osmosis, of brotherhood, which really ought to serve as a model, because it allows everyone to help themselves while being mutually beneficial.

Have you never noticed the black guys dressed in parkas three times too big for them, wearing worn-out sneakers with no socks, zigzagging on their bikes through Paris with a freezer bag on their back? They’re illegals and that phone attached to their handlebars doesn’t belong to them.

Somebody ordering a hamburger and fries pays for delivery via their mobile through the platform and then the platform credits my account as the official owner of the courier business. Then I reimburse Dioulou in cash for what I legally make every week, worked out to the last cent. He’s delighted, because he has a job and a salary without necessarily having to have the residence permit that goes with that, and it allows me to launder my money. After Dioulou with UberEats, there were his cousins, Dembelé and Diara on Deliveroo, because I’m hyper-legit and don’t make any margin on them using my account. And then, when they started carrying out inspections, they all switched over to Stuart. When Dioulou got his papers, he became an Uber driver and I bought him a car that he rented back from me. I was what is known as a ‘micro-entrepreneur’, a disabled sole-trader with quite a lot of work. Who had three internet bank accounts, two bikes and a crappy car driven around by Malians 24/7.

I’ve never felt guilty about bringing in some extra dough like this. Firstly, because with the 1,320.92 euros net per month that I got from the Ministry and the 900 euros of rent I had to pay for my 12 square metres, I couldn’t get by, mainly because of the taxis I had to take to get around this bitch of a town, which is not at all disabled-friendly, and because of the private school my daughter attended so she wouldn’t drag a string of losers around behind her. And also because after an exhausting day, when Juliette is asleep and it’s nice outside, I like sitting on our little balcony with a joint so I can forget the pain in my back for a bit without anybody coming and giving me grief.