‘Yeh. They rationed it cos no one listened. You get the eco-warrior types, the Vegetables, some of them Vegan,’ she nods towards Season, ‘and the Meatheads who have to eat meat every day or they’ll die. In the end, there were so many Meatheads there wasn’t enough land to grow anything else. Food chain slumped. Scientists started growing meat in labs.’

‘So they don’t do intensive dairy farming any more?’ I read about intensive farming for my geography project.

‘You totally get it,’ Ama said. ‘Shall we cook these cakes, then?’

‘Am I your boyfriend?’

Big Ben joins us. I don’t know where he’s been up till now. He’s soaked through, so maybe he just stood outside for an hour. He’s taken the hat off, though. He wanders to the other side of the kitchen and looks out the window. I realise he’s gazing at Fiona the Ferrari.

‘ARE you his girlfriend?’ Ama says. ‘Think he likes you.’

‘Me? No. Big Ben just likes timing me run,’ I say. ‘Fiona’s his girlfriend.’

The smell of the main cake cooking is making me hungry. I hardly ate any lunch and running always makes me hungry. I scrape the spoon round the inside of the bowl and taste it. Not bad. Maybe I’ll try a slice of birthday cake later. If I could last that long before dying of hunger. The others are tasting the mixture too. I worry we’ll eat it all before the cake goes into the oven. Then we’ll all starve this evening.

‘Something smells good.’ Le Temps strides into the room in green wellington boots, leaving footprints all over the white floor. ‘Let me guess, birthday cake?’

Season looks at the footprints and her eyebrows drop down to her eyes. He disappears into a side door and appears a minute later carrying a clear bag containing what is obviously large chunks of meat. Season goes white and her voice sounds distorted, like she’s virtually tongue-tied, struggling to get each word out.

‘Mr T. What, exactly, are you doing carrying meat, in a meat-free zone?’

‘Carrying meat in a meat-free zone.’ He grins.

‘On whose authority?’

‘Infinity’s,’ he says, no longer grinning, and Season jumps a little at the name. ‘Meat’s permissible on leap birthdays. Special occasion, remember? Some of us CAN taste the difference between animal and vegetable. It’s Armageddon outside. Where else could I preserve it? Sorry, old bean.’

And off he walks into the grounds. We all look at each other. I’m the first to speak.

‘Who’s Infinity?’

Ama makes what-big-eyes. ‘You never heard of Infinity? She’s the wisest bissextile of all but no one’s ever seen her.’

‘Like a god?’

‘No. More like an elder everyone respects.’

‘Can she live forever?’

‘No one can. But rumour has it she can leap to the far edges of time.’