She wasn’t going to assume her own helplessness yet. Of course she was going to teach again. Establishing a department from scratch sounded interesting. It would be mostly frontline teaching, rather than senior management, but with enough responsibility to keep her stretched. Less money, but she didn’t need the money, not really—

Laura was watching her with a hard-to-read little smile. “He did say I should mention it to you. Did I tell you I’ve been taking lessons?”

“It was very obvious that you’d been taking lessons,” Saffy assured her, and then realised how patronising that sounded. “I mean—because you’re getting so much better, so fast, and— Oh no, that sounds worse.”

“Just a bit,” Laura said.

“Stop laughing at me.”

“It’s all right, I’m used to you.”

“You’re genuinely very good!” said Saffy.

“Some of us don’t hang our self-respect on being the best at everything,” Laura said. “Don’t worry.”

“I don’t—well, not everything.”

Laura looked at her thoughtfully. “I’m going to ask one more time. Are you all right?”

“Honestly?” Saffy said. “I’m about as well as you can be when you’re nearly forty, broadly unemployable at least in the short term, and learning to manage a serious disability.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise.”

“I’m not sorry for cutting your arm off,” Laura clarified. “Clever of you to come up with it and I wish I’d thought of it sooner. I’m sorry about everything else.”

“You’re so sensible,” said Saffy wistfully. “It’s nice. Anyway, it could all be a lot worse. I’m lucky enough to have savings and family to fall back on. My parents gave my brother the deposit for his first mortgage and have felt guilty ever since that I never asked for one. Maybe I’ll buy a house. In any case, I can easily afford to take a year—maybe a couple of years—before I decide what I’m doing next.”

“Think you’ll be in London?”

“I could be,” Saffy said.

Laura didn’t say anything else. Saffy started counting in her head again. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen …

In the end she had mercy. “Do you think this awkward silence is better or worse than the last one?”

“I’m not good at this,” said Laura. “And I’ve never asked someone out after chopping her arm off before.”

The absolutely beautiful swell of delight in Saffy’s chest. You grew out of most parts of being a teenager, thank goodness, but you didn’t grow out of romance. “I wasn’t sure you would.”

“You know, you could make a move for once.”

“If you’re not good at this, I’m terrible,” Saffy said. “I spent months kicking myself that I never actually got your phone number.” Confession time. “I stalked your old Instagram.”

Laura made a choking sound of laughter.

“I know. I know!”