I WOKE UP at around nine, having had over sixteen hours of sleep between bouts of war and sex. I slowly wiggled out of Chris’s grip. He was dead to the world. I went toward the bathroom on my tiptoes, and after washing up, I wrapped myself in one of his black jacquard silk robes and left the room, closing the door behind me. I made myself coffee and then settled on his black leather couch to read, trying to keep my mind off Sanjay. If I thought about what happened, I’d sink into deep, muddy waters. I still had a daughter, and I just needed to stay afloat emotionally.

My spot faced the window, and I enjoyed the light and the view. Usually when I got up, Chris was already gone, but I guess the fatigue caught up with him. An hour later, I made a fresh pot of coffee, poured myself a new cup, then padded back into the bedroom. He hadn’t moved, in the same position as when I left, on his stomach, shirtless, but with sweatpants. His white hair was splayed over a black pillowcase like a cloud in a storm.

On the nightstand was his gun. It was a 9 mm, probably a Glock. He liked Glocks. He had taught me how to shoot years ago, but I hadn’t fired a gun in a very long time. I transferred my coffee cup to my left hand and picked up the gun. It weighed about a pound and had good balance. I checked and saw that there was a magazine in the chamber. I held the stock in my hand and put my finger on the trigger. Firearms gave me an enormous sense of power.

“Tempted?” The voice was low and almost playful. I looked away from the gun and at his body. He still hadn’t moved. He said, “Bad idea. How would you get out of here?”

I said, “There’s coffee.”

Finally, he turned around, sat up, and held out his hand. I offered him the gun, but instead, he took my mug. “Coffee first. What time is it?”

“A little after ten.”

“Shit!” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sipped coffee. He took down one of his many black suits and a black tee and started to dress. “I’ve got some business that can’t wait. Good coffee, baby doll. Better than mine, that’s for sure.”

“I wait until the entire pot is brewed.”