“I don’t want any pills!” I was shivering. I softened my voice. I was tired of being angry. I just wanted him to leave. “They’re probably contraindicated with kidney problems. Give me one of my sleeping pills. I’ll be okay.”

He exhaled forcibly. “Can you look at me?”

“I can hear you. What?”

Another exhale. “Teresa, this isn’t a prison and I’m no warden. You can leave whenever you want. Just please wait until you’re well enough to go and to take your daughter with you. I’ll even set you up. I have plenty of money—”

“I’ve come to realize that.”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do to ensure that you’ll be comfortable … that you won’t struggle financially. It’s not like when you were twenty and I had you under my thumb. You’re a doctor. You can support yourself. You can support your daughter—”

“Juleen.”

“I know her name.”

“You never call her by her name. It’s always your daughter. Stop depersonalizing her.”

“Teresa, quit pushing my buttons!” He bit his lip. “Please.”

I didn’t answer him.

He said, “I will help you in whatever way you want my help. You’re my son’s mother. And … and I still love you very much. But if you leave me … again … that door is shut forever. I can’t take the emotional upheaval. I don’t care if you’re on fire and I’ve got a hose, I’m not coming to your rescue anymore. We are through.”

“Mighty fine with me,” I told him.

“Peachy!” He stood up. “Nice to know that for once we’re on the same fucking page!”

HE WALKED PAST Talia, trying to keep his face as unreadable as it usually was. “I’m on a call for the next forty-five minutes. No interruptions until I say it’s over.”

She sorted through her ledger. “I must have missed that appointment,” she said. “I don’t have any calls scheduled for you, Chris.”

“It just came up. I’m clear, right?”

“Yes.”

“Perfect. Just make sure I get privacy.”

“Of course.”

He went inside his office and shut the door. He plopped into his chair and threw his head back. He was breathing rapidly, his hands were shaking, and sweat had started forming over his brow and lip. He wiped his face.

He blew out a gust of air.

He took out a key ring and unlocked and opened the bottom drawer of his desk. He retrieved his kit.

Seven years of sobriety down the toilet.