His eyes came back to my face. “I love what I do, Terry, but believe it or not, it’s still a business. When I’m with a newbie—after I pay her, of course—I’m always thinking, Is she good enough, is she enthusiastic enough, is she compliant enough, does she have enough spunk, what are her facial expressions, what noises does she make? It’s the difference between a sex worker and a good sex worker. A thousand things rush through my mind. Even when I pay for it with one of my workers, I’m cognizant that I’m with my own employees and I don’t want to damage the merchandise. I never fully leave my brain behind.

“When I’m with you, baby doll, I feel this out-of-body experience more potent than any drug I’ve ever taken, because I can finally let myself go.” His eyes met mine. “I don’t mean to hurt you. I really don’t want to cause you pain. Forcing you is a terrible tactic and it always comes back to bite me in the ass. But sometimes, I get so worked up, I just can’t help it.”

I didn’t say anything. Challenging him wouldn’t help get my son back.

He said, “Which is why no matter how mad you get at me, no matter how you keep fucking me over, I’ll keep coming back. And I’m not the only one, you know. Devek’s still madly in love with you. I know he’s hurting. He’s as much an idiot as I was. He would take you back in a heartbeat. But Pramod would never allow it.”

I was confused. “You’ve talked to Pramod?”

He paused. “Again, I don’t know if I should tell you this, but here goes. No judgment, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I work with casinos all the time. I get a lot of my workers from them. When certain people accrue gambling debts, I buy the debt from the casinos at a discount for quick cash—usually sixty to seventy percent—and then the people come to my place and work off the full amount of the obligation plus ten percent. I pocket the difference. Most are sex workers, but a few, like Karen in the commissary, do regular jobs—cleaning, serving, bartending. Anyway, while they’re working off the money, they still get their tips, but I keep their percentages until we’re even. It usually takes anywhere from three to nine months. After that, the workers are free to continue or get the hell out. About thirty percent stay on.