Hearing my little boy’s name put a lump in my throat. It was a low blow—certainly not the first time he’d used my son as collateral, probably not the last, but … We both knew that he was the only one helping me. If I wanted Sanjay back, I needed him on my side. I emitted a sound, something between a sigh and a stifled sob. Finally, I said, “It would be nice if, once in a blue moon, you’d let me lead.”

“Lead?” A pause. “You mean like in sex?”

“Yes, sex. It would be nice for me to feel empowered.”

He picked me up and put me on his lap. We sat face-to-face. “Baby, if you want to throw a dog chain around my neck, force me on all fours, and stomp on my back with spiked heels from thigh-high, lace-up black leather boots, I am all in.”

Despite myself, I smiled. “I never figured you for a submissive.”

“I’m not. But for you, I’d do anything.” He picked up my hand and kissed it. “Yes, I was awful. I’m a jealous guy and I hate when men stare at you because I know what they’re thinking … what they’re doing in their heads.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You did eleven years ago.”

“And most of that was your fault,” I snapped back. “I wouldn’t have cheated if you hadn’t been such a …”

“An asshole?”

“Yeah, that too. I was thinking a horrible husband.”

“I was a horrible husband. But I do love you.” He kissed me hard. “Can we officially call a truce? I can tolerate your anger, but I hate it when you’re so cold to me. It makes me feel worthless.”

“You deserve it.”

“I’m sure that’s true. I’m a rotten person. But forgive me anyway.” He felt my breasts over my dress. “Whoa! I just got to second base. Can I slide into home?” I pushed his hands away and he sighed. “Okay. I get it. Let’s go to sleep.”

I was still on his lap. I thought long and hard. Then I said, “Do you keep condoms here?”

“Not here. For what purpose?” A pause. “Why do you ask?”

“Can you get them?”

“I have them in my office downstairs. Why?”

“Stop asking questions. You’ll like it. Go get condoms and some lube, okay?”

He jumped out of bed, knocking me off his lap. “I’ll be right back.”

“I bet you will.” I got up and went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I put on makeup and perfume. He hadn’t bought me any sexy lingerie, but I did find a white tank undershirt in his drawer and put it on. I combed out my hair and waited.