There were lots of strong women out there: true leaders. I was not one of them. I am and always was a subordinate. First to my stepmother, and then of course to Chris, who is an apex predator. But even with Devek, who was weak, I’d let him call the shots. It didn’t bother me. I was always an obedient student and excellent at taking orders. God made me that way, and I’ve come to grips with who I am. But there were times with both men where they knew they had gone too far. When my hatred was so apparent, they both buckled.

Two cups of coffee later, and after the pain medication kicked in, I called Juleen.

“When are you coming?”

“As soon as he gets up. He’s still asleep.”

“When will that be?”

“Don’t know, priya. We got to bed very late.”

“Did you have fun?”

“Yes,” I lied.

“So like when, Mommy? An hour? Two hours?”

“I don’t know, Juleen. I’ll come as soon as I can.”

“Okay.” Her voice brightened. “Can I send you some pictures of the shoes I want?”

“Of course. We can look online together.”

“I’ll send you the website.”

An hour later, I heard the shower running. I called Juleen and said, “Chris is up. Let me take care of him and then I’ll see you.”

“So, about the shoes. You’re sure I can get three pairs?”

“Yes. Get the three pairs. But no more.”

“Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. I’ve got to go. See you soon.”

After we hung up, I started the coffeemaker a second time after putting in freshly ground beans. When he came out, I handed him a mug of coffee and four tablets of Advil.

“Thank you,” he muttered. I was silent as he drank. He said, “You’re not having any?”

“I had my coffee earlier. I’d like to see Juleen now.”

He said, “She’s busy with her studies.”

“It’s Saturday, Chris.”

“Right.” He took another sip. “I thought we could spend some time together.”

“No,” I said. “I told her I’d come as soon as you could take me. She knows you’re up. She’s expecting me.”

“Can I finish my coffee?”

“Of course.”

He sipped again. “Terry, why don’t you grab a cup of coffee and let’s talk for a couple of minutes.”

“I don’t want to talk, and I don’t want any more caffeine. I want to see my daughter.”

“Fine.” He put his mug down with a thud. “Let’s go.”

“I wouldn’t have to bother you if you’d enter me into the system.”

“Not now.”

“When?”

“I don’t know, Terry, just not now.” A pause. “I feel like shit.” I didn’t respond. His voice dropped in volume. “Did I make an ass out of myself?”