He moved silently out onto the landing. His hand groped for the switch, and as the light went on, he thought how strange it was that they should have electricity laid on and that he should know where the switches were. He went down the dark, enclosed stairs, switching on another light there. And so into the hall, with its smell of geraniums. The parlor was empty. Everything looked strangely sharp under the unaccustomed brightness of the light. He turned away toward the kitchen door, which stood ajar on the darkness within. It was in there, whatever it was! There was nobody else in the house, but himself and it.

He was trembling now, facing the door. At last, reluctantly, he moved into the doorway. He reached in for the switch, but it seemed to be farther in, well within the dark. In he moved, reaching fearfully forward, his body drawn from him by something more powerful than he had ever known, its trembling now a regular pulsation which he tried vainly to quell. He knew there was something there, someone, some flesh his own should know, but though he kept blundering forward in mounting horror, he never reached it.

*

He awoke to find himself trembling violently. He drew the blankets about him and lay still, trying to calm his fear, to stop his trembling. And then he felt a warmth on his stomach, a long-forgotten, shameful warmth, spread from navel to thighs.

In disbelief, he touched his hand to the place and withdrew it instantly as it encountered the warm slime of his seed. Oh, Christ, he moaned. He flung the clothes back and got out on the floor, where he swayed dizzily in the icy darkness. Oh, Christ in heaven, pray for me! And then his knees gave way, just as he was about to will himself to kneel, and he was on the floor, crying, sobbing, “Jesus protect me, save me! Oh, Jesus!”

*

Gradually his body returned to his control. He got up, switched on the light, and dressed himself. Downstairs, in the kitchen, he found his breviary and began to read, but the phrases skidded away before his eyes, their Latin surface unbroken. At last he put the book down and said the “Our Father” slowly and with intensity. That calmed him, so that he was able to put on the kettle and make himself a pot of strong tea. He cut a thick slice of the homemade bread and ate it as he drank. Only then was he able to finish his Office. He was only just in time – it was but a few minutes to midnight.