So what exactly did Jesus mean when He made this statement to Thomas? To answer, allow me to explain why a deeper intimacy can be achieved by faith than by sight.

There are three levels of relationship: the physical level, the soul level, and the spiritual level. The lowest (most superficial) level is the natural or physical level. Many romantic relationships begin here, with thoughts like: She’s good-looking, or He’s good-looking, so maybe we should get together. Unfortunately, a lot of couples only have a relationship on this level when they get married. They think, I can ignore the fact that we don’t get along very well or that we really don’t talk and connect on issues or common interests, because I’m attracted to him or her. In these cases, the soul level is underdeveloped. The wedding bells chime, the honeymoon ends, and then life happens. This couple will have to realize that they need to establish a deeper level of intimacy with each other or they will suffer a miserable marriage. If they don’t commit to a deeper connection, the woman will pursue her interests with her friends, and the man will pursue his interests with his friends. They will wind up merely coexisting. This was never God’s intention for marriage.

The next level of relationship is that of the soul or the personality of a person. This is the level of relationship that existed between David and Jonathan: “…the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1). When Jonathan was killed, David lamented, “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; you have been very pleasant to me; your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women” (2 Samuel 1:26). David was not talking about a perverted physical relationship. There was no physical attraction between them. Their connection was that of the soul and completely free of any unnatural physical aspect. Yet they were able to build a bond much deeper than that of a merely physical relationship (which is what David meant when he said “the love of women”).

The soul level is the level on which marriages should be built. Don’t get me wrong, the physical aspect of a relationship is very important. I am extremely attracted to my wife; she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. But there are much deeper levels of relationship that can and should be achieved between husbands and wives. The fact is, Lisa’s personality is more endearing to me than her physical beauty.

Sadly, I have heard numerous stories about men and women leaving their spouses for someone they met online. A few years ago I was preaching at a church where a gentleman walked up to me after the service. He was surrounded by six young children. Two were in his arms, two were holding onto his legs, and two were running around in the foyer. Because the man had such a depressed look on his face, I asked him, “Sir, are you okay?” He said, “Not really. Today my wife left me and our six children for a man she met on the Internet.” Her “soul” relationship with this other man had developed to the point that she was willing to leave her husband after many years of marriage. The soul tie was even strong enough to separate this mother from her natural inclination to care for and be with her children.