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Chapters (61)
  1. Dedication
  2. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  3. CHAPTER
  4. CHAPTER
  5. CHAPTER
  6. CHAPTER
  7. CHAPTER
  8. CHAPTER
  9. CHAPTER
  10. CHAPTER
  11. CHAPTER
  12. CHAPTER
  13. CHAPTER
  14. CHAPTER
  15. CHAPTER
  16. CHAPTER
  17. CHAPTER
  18. CHAPTER
  19. CHAPTER
  20. CHAPTER
  21. CHAPTER
  22. CHAPTER
  23. CHAPTER
  24. CHAPTER
  25. CHAPTER
  26. CHAPTER
  27. CHAPTER
  28. CHAPTER
  29. CHAPTER
  30. CHAPTER
  31. CHAPTER
  32. CHAPTER
  33. CHAPTER
  34. CHAPTER
  35. CHAPTER
  36. CHAPTER
  37. CHAPTER
  38. CHAPTER
  39. CHAPTER
  40. CHAPTER
  41. CHAPTER
  42. CHAPTER
  43. CHAPTER
  44. CHAPTER
  45. CHAPTER
  46. CHAPTER
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  48. CHAPTER
  49. CHAPTER
  50. CHAPTER
  51. CHAPTER
  52. CHAPTER
  53. CHAPTER
  54. CHAPTER
  55. CHAPTER
  56. CHAPTER
  57. EPILOGUE
  58. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  59. EPIGRAPHS AND SOURCES FOR FURTHER RESEARCH
  60. Also available by Melanie Golding
  61. AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY

Constance glared at him. “I do not need anything from you,” she said. “And neither does Ruby.” Her eyes drooped and closed; her hand went to her head.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he said, taking Constance’s hand.

She yanked it away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Gregor held his hands above his head in a gesture of surrender. “I won’t if you don’t want me to. But I’m right here, if you change your mind.” His voice had a tremor; he was upset, trying not to let it show.

Constance struggled to her feet, pushing herself up with effort. Whatever she’d taken was affecting her balance. “Remember,” she said to Ruby, “everything he says to you is a lie. I tell the truth. I tell …” She trailed off, her eyes drifting almost closed. With the gait of a person fifty years older, the dark-haired woman walked slowly across to her room and went in, shutting the door behind her.

The room was mostly in darkness, lit only by the table lamp, the pool of light not quite reaching the walls. Gregor handed Ruby her tea, then sat where Constance had been on the other couch. In the dimness, she couldn’t see his eyes, but as he turned his head, there was a glint where tears were gathering.

“I’m so sorry about that,” he said.

Ruby wasn’t sure how to respond. She said, “It’s not your fault. She seems so …”

“Paranoid?”

“I was going to say different, from last week.”

Gregor nodded slowly. “When it’s good, I think it will be good forever, that she’s better. That maybe she’ll be able to live independently. But then, out of the blue, she’ll wake up in the morning, and there will be a look in her eye. And I’ll know.”

“Know what?”

Gregor seemed to struggle with what he was about to say. He winced, as if in pain. “I think of it like a demon now. When it’s bad, it’s like there’s a demon inside her, controlling her. Not letting the real Constance speak.”

“Sounds like it’s really hard for you.”

“Yes. For both of us. Though when she’s better, she often forgets what she’s said.”

Ruby thought of Marianne then, and how it was hard to understand how very different she was when she was bad, how far from her sober self. She had blackouts too, though Ruby wasn’t sure whether Marianne really forgot what had happened or blocked it out deliberately because of the shame. That wasn’t the same, though. To an extent, Marianne could have helped herself. Constance couldn’t do that.

“You’re so good to take this on, Gregor.”