“Gift?” Nick hissed incredulously. “It’s not a birthday treat.”

Freddie held his face impassive, but I could tell from his tapping toes that it required effort. “It is impossible to come out of the service without a sense of perspective,” he said. “One can always do more with what one is given. I’ve gained an even greater respect for people like my grandmother, my father, and my brother, who’ve understood better than I the way a life of good fortune must be shaped by a proper sense of duty.”

“But why the cloak-and-dagger approach?” Terry asked. “Why simply vanish?”

“Officially it was out of concern that I’d be a target, but for me, it was the threat I might pose to the other soldiers,” Freddie said. “Their work thrives on secrecy. I would have shouted it from the London rooftops, but the attention could’ve put their lives in even greater danger.”

“And it was dangerous,” Terry said. “I’m told you saw quite a bit of action, and that it’s the reason for your arm being in a sling.”

Freddie gulped. On the monitors, he simply looked serious, but we could see his left hand gripping his knee. Next to me, Nick frowned.

“I can’t give specifics, Terry,” Freddie said.

“You were injured,” he pressed. “It’s very brave to risk yourself like that.”

“No. Courage isn’t what I did,” Freddie said. His hand migrated from his knee to rub at the seat of his chair. “Courage isn’t trying to find purpose in a short burst of service. It’s giving your life to it, however long that life might be. I saw several of those lives cut short, and the tragedy of it will never leave me.”

He was fighting to keep his voice even. Nick tensed up. “I don’t like this,” he said in a low voice.

Terry jumped back in: “Did you ever wonder if you’d make it home yourself?”

Freddie’s fidgeting increased, to where it was visible even on the monitor. “Many of my friends didn’t come home. Many more yet might not.”

“You were afraid,” Terry said.

“There were times…” Freddie began, and then shook his head. “What I mean to say is, you can’t imagine how, particularly at night, when you hear…” His face looked in danger of crumpling altogether. He bit his lip and turned his face away, his shoulders beginning to shake.

Nick stepped forward. “That’s enough,” he called out, then clapped his hands authoritatively. “Thank you so much for coming out, but I’m afraid that’s all we can do for you today.”