“I don’t know if poking the bear is the best idea…” I began.

Eleanor appeared to focus very hard on spitting out the words. “Nonsense,” she said. “I’m the bear. He poked me.” She pointed toward my usual chair. “Sit. What did I miss?”

“Do you mean, like…globally?” I asked.

“Boring,” she said. “I meant gossip.”

“Uh,” I said gracefully. Eleanor had once suggested that gossip was the devil’s breath. “The Dutch seemed to have a blast at the—”

“Yawn,” Eleanor said. “Everyone who comes up here wants to talk about”—and here, she made irritated air quotes with her left hand—“‘the monarchy’ and ‘appearances’ and ‘my medical situation.’ It’s dull as a dirge. I assumed our resident American would be the most willing to indulge in a little…what’s the phrase you use? Shit-talking?”

“Uhhhhhhh,” I responded again. I hadn’t been prepared for this level of feistiness. “Let’s see. Lacey—”

“I don’t care,” Eleanor said. “Next.”

Apparently some things hadn’t changed. “How about this? Freddie’s been seeing a marine biologist.”

“That won’t last,” Eleanor said. “But I suppose I should be relieved he behaved himself while I was gone.”

“Gone. Stop acting like you were on vacation, dear,” Marta said.

I cleared my throat. “Anyway,” I said. “Lady Elizabeth almost named the baby Eldrick, which she thought would be a nice tribute to you, but Agatha talked her into Peter.”

“Remind me to give Agatha a little bauble for that.”

“Richard tried having a goatee for about a week,” I said. Eleanor made a disgusted face. “Agatha talked him out of that, too. No one saw it.”

Eleanor tapped her chin. “Perhaps a medium-size bauble.”

“But Nigel has been wearing a lot of high-fashion sweatpants and everyone has seen those.”

“Foul,” Eleanor said. “Back to the small bauble.”

I turned to Marta for confirmation. “And I heard Edwin finally played a four-letter word in Scrabble?”

“Yes, but the word was word,” Marta said. “Also, Rebecca has done very little of note, Nicholas cried in public, and they’ve still not let Idris Elba be James Bond. If they don’t pony up soon, what will have been the point of my living this long?”

“Nicholas cried?” Eleanor looked astounded. “In front of people?”

“He’d had a rough week,” I hedged.