‘After that Christmas, George and I went on holiday,’ she said. ‘Stephen was away at uni and we packed Olivia off to go skiing in the French Alps. With Phoebe’s family, as it happens.’ She shook her head. ‘All that needless worry about chalet Romeos – oblivious, that’s me. Anyway, we hadn’t been on holiday alone together since the kids were born and it was glorious.’

I asked where she went.

‘Barbados,’ she said. ‘I know the Island quite well – he did a sabbatical at Oxford while I was there.’

I drank some more wine while that sank in. I wanted to ask what the Island was like as a person. I really did. But sometimes even I’ve got to stay focused. Not to mention, you’ve got to suspect that someone who read Machiavelli in the original Italian is going to be looking to distract you – even if it’s only out of force of habit.

‘So, you had a good time?’ I asked.

‘When I came back I felt like was twenty again,’ said Lady Ty.

I had a horrible feeling I knew what was coming next.

‘You’re young, reasonably fit and not bad looking, so the reality of getting older hasn’t sunk in yet,’ she said. ‘As you get older gravity starts to take its toll, especially if you’re a woman, especially if you have two kids and then breast feed them.’

I must have squirmed ever so slightly, because she laughed.

‘I’m not saying they were heading for my waist,’ said Lady Ty. ‘Let’s just say I wasn’t going to go topless on the beach. This is really making you uncomfortable, isn’t it?’ She pronounced it innit – she was definitely taking the piss. ‘Scaring you with the thought of my old lady tits.’

‘Truthfully,’ I said, because sometimes people want a bit of honesty, ‘yeah, a bit.’

‘Good,’ said Lady Ty. ‘Then there’s stretch marks and moles and these weird flaps of skin and cellulite – let’s not forget the cellulite. There’s nothing you can do about it and if you’re sensible you learn to be comfortable in your skin.’

‘And are you?’

‘I thought so,’ she said. ‘Until we were getting ready for our last night out on the Island and I decided to wriggle into my emergency little black dress and I’m hoiking everything into place when George looks at me and says “Hey, we should do this every year. It really seems to agree with you”. And I was feeling pretty damn hot, even if I say so myself, so I sashayed over to the mirror and found my twenty five year old self staring back at me.’

‘You’d physically changed?’ I asked.

‘I closed the bathroom door and had a good feel,’ said Tyburn. ‘It was all real.’

‘You must have known it was a possibility,’ I said. ‘I mean, look at Oxley and Isis.’