She smiled briefly and hurried to one of the empty seats, apologizing to the group for interrupting, as if she hadn’t just blown him away. He returned to his seat, trying to shake off his shock and feeling like the luckiest son of a bitch on earth.

“Hi, I’m Jacob,” Jacob said to Roni. Then to the group, he said, “I’ve been clean for forty-one days. I got hooked on oxys after I injured my back playing football with my buddies. Things went from bad to worse, and you all know how that goes.” He wrung his hands. “My wife and I have been together since we were fifteen. We’ve got two little girls, and we’re both committed to my staying clean…”

As Jacob talked, Quincy stole a glance at Roni. She was listening intently to Jacob. He couldn’t believe she was actually there. He didn’t know what it meant to her, but the fact that she’d shown up in support of him, and of her own accord, meant everything to him.

“I’m a real estate agent, which means I’m on the road showing houses and meeting with clients,” Jacob said. “I think we all know that when someone has gotten clean and then starts using again, the first thing they do is cut off communication with the people supporting them. My wife is all too familiar with me disappearing for days on end. But she’s checking up on me too much. If I’m supposed to be showing a house and I don’t answer my phone, she drives by wherever I’m supposed to be. I know she’s doing it because she loves me and she’s scared I’ll use again, but it’s making me crazy. I’ve asked her to attend Nar-Anon, but she’s too embarrassed. It’s a stressful situation.” He looked pleadingly at Quincy. “I know no one is supposed to offer suggestions or comments when we share, but I love my wife, and I’d really appreciate help figuring out how to handle this.”

“Of course. Thank you, Jacob.” Quincy looked at the others and said, “It’s important to remember that recovery is as hard for friends and family as it is for the person going through it. Jacob’s wife wants to support him, and that’s crucial to his recovery, and it’s only natural for her to look for the red flags she may have missed the last time around. It’s also reasonable that Jacob is frustrated by that. You can see the vicious cycle. Frustration can lead to needing an escape, which can lead to using again, and the pisser is that she’s trying to keep him from using.”

“I’ve told her all of that, which is why I wish she’d join a support group so she can hear it from someone else. Maybe then she’d understand it,” Jacob said.

“I agree that’s the best route,” Quincy said. “But we’re the ones who used drugs, and we have to understand that it’s perfectly reasonable for our loved ones and friends to be uncomfortable or embarrassed attending support meetings. They may feel shame, like our drug use was a personal affront, that they weren’t enough to keep us clean, or we didn’t love them enough. They may even feel like they drove us to it, pushed us to the brink. They’re hurt and angry that you would risk your family’s foundation for something they don’t understand. If you and those around you haven’t already experienced being embarrassed by your drug use, chances are you all will at some point. Jacob is doing the right thing by asking for help. The reason this group is here, the reason the program works, is because we help each other through all aspects of recovery. When someone wants to support you and either doesn’t know how, or needs a more private way to handle it, there are alternatives like attending meetings outside of your hometown or utilizing online support groups. I can recommend books on the subject after the meeting, and of course, Jacob, your wife, or anyone else, can come talk to me before or after any meeting.”