She inhaled a shaky breath and said, “Okay.”

He nodded, pacing again, crossing and uncrossing his arms, his jaw clenching like he was a caged animal readying to jump a fence. Her nerves strung tighter with every silent second as she watched him eye the door, as if he were thinking about leaving instead of revealing whatever was torturing him.

But he didn’t leave.

He stepped in front of her and planted his legs shoulder width apart, his arms hanging by his sides, though not limply. Not by a long shot. His fingers curled into fists, his muscles straining against the sleeves of his T-shirt, as he looked directly into her eyes without any barriers to hide behind, and said, “In between the thirteen-year-old kid and the man I am now, I got lost, and this is how it happened. I was following Tru’s plan, as always. I stayed clean, did my homework, and came straight home from school, every day the same as the next, except weekends and summers, when I’d make my way over the bridge to the auto shop instead of school.” He swallowed hard. “Until one afternoon when I was cutting an apple in the kitchen and my mother came through the front door arguing with a guy. He was a big bald dude, with arm and neck tattoos. He’d been there before, and I knew he was a dealer. He was a real prick. I’ve already mentioned that my mother slept around, exchanging sex for drugs, which is typical shit for an addict.” He paused for a moment, his brows furrowed, and said, “I need you to understand what it felt like to grow up in that kind of environment.”

“I can imagine how scary it was.”

“I don’t think you can, and not because you’re not capable. Unless you’ve lived through it, I think it’s impossible to know the bone-deep fear and disgust, the layers of deceit I had to carry out at school and everywhere I went, and the guilt all of that caused. Hating your mother is not a natural thing. When I finally realized all of that, it took me more than a year to work through all of those emotions. Anyway, you hid under your pillow to block out the noise. For me, it was like the gangs you were trying to block out were inside my house on a near-daily basis, smoking crack, waving guns and knives, fucking my mother. Sorry to be crass, but it’s the truth. Usually she would take that into her bedroom, but there were times…”

Roni looked down, feeling like she couldn’t breathe. “I don’t want to imagine you there.”

“I know it’s hard. But the only way to understand my life and what went wrong with it is to know every detail.” He stepped closer, lifting her chin as he had earlier, and when she met his gaze, he said, “I can leave, but I can’t lie. It’s your choice.”

He was so honest and had been so good to her, she was conflicted, but not enough to send him away. “I don’t want you to leave.”