Whether or not I called Jill, I was nearly ready for that other call—to the police. Emily was relaxed, almost drowsy, her cheek resting on her open palm. She seemed to trust that I would not really turn her in. Or, maybe she didn’t care if I did. Maybe that was what she wanted all along. I was the one who said there were no accidents. Did Emily already know when she knocked on our door that the only place she would be going tonight would be the police station?

“Okay,” I said. “I need you to go back and tell me about that night. Every single thing that happened.”

Stefan said, “This sucks. It’s sick, Mom. I don’t want to hear this anymore.”

Early in the evening, Emily asked Stefan to stop by her place so they could go to Belinda’s together.

“It was too cold to walk, and I told him I scored something special just for him. Something different.”

I got up quickly, banging my knee on the kitchen table. Just to get away from her, I crossed to the living room and sank into the couch. A blast of wind shoved the back door open and I heard the pulsing growl of thunder. Emily followed me and sat down gingerly across the room, on the small caned chair next to the fireplace. “I got what we usually got when we’d go out dancing. Molly and some coke and a little meth, too. But I also got an eight ball for Stefan.”

“An eight ball?”

“Heroin and crack. I wanted to give it to him before we picked Belinda up. It might make him sick, but it would definitely make him act crazy and that was something Belinda would really hate. She was still scared of drugs. Every time she did them was going to be the last time. She said they made her feel like her head was filled with glitter. But Stefan really liked them. He never said no. I knew he’d try anything.”

Anything, I thought? I didn’t know Stefan at all.

“Why that night of all nights?” I asked.

Emily sighed and gently touched her stomach. “I couldn’t stand it, back and forth, back and forth. He would come up, we would go out dancing, he was a really good dancer, and he would be so nice to me. I would put up with him so Belinda didn’t hate me, and Stefan would say how nice it was that Bindy...he called her Bindy...”

“I know what he called her,” I said.