Softened by the painkiller, Emily, for she said this was her real name, told us that she met Belinda at a cheer camp in Wisconsin Dells. One day, they took a picnic to Kettle Pond. They kissed. The power of their connection scared both of them. Emily had known all her life that she was gay, but she was not out, not even to her family. Belinda was the first girl she ever loved, and Belinda confessed she had a deepening crush on Emily, as well. Belinda called her Esme when they were alone and wrote poetry about her.

But then Emily found out about Stefan.

“If I had left Belinda alone right then, she would still be alive.” Instead, she pleaded; she threatened; she cajoled. Belinda, though conflicted, maintained her loyalty. They didn’t see each other for a while. Slowly, though, Emily wore her down and they started up again. Emily pressed her hard: Did Belinda want to live a lie? Did she think that loving a girl was something to be ashamed of? Did Stefan deserve more than a limited love? At last, Belinda agreed at least to be frank with her mother and with Stefan about her new love entanglement.

“Did you know then?” I asked Stefan.

“I had already guessed as much,” Stefan said. “But I wasn’t going to give her up without a fight.”

Abruptly, Belinda switched from her plan to go to Thornton Wilder for college. She needed space, away from everything familiar to explore all the feelings she was experiencing for the first time, or so she told herself. Suddenly, she wasn’t just Jill’s daughter and Stefan’s girl. Stefan panicked, then he despaired. How could he face losing his Belinda, I thought? She was his light, his only. He told me as much now.

“I knew that if I pressured her, it would give her an excuse to break up with me,” he said. Much as his purloined heart drove him to grovel for her affections, he didn’t want to betray how much more he needed her than she seemed to need him. Stefan decided to pretend to be more tolerant of Emily than he ever felt. What we thought was exhaustion from the endless commute was something much more serious.

Teetering on the edge of despair, Stefan never let on to us or to Belinda.

“I had relatives in Black Creek. When I was a little girl, after my mom died, I went there summers to stay with my aunt and my cousins. I talked her into going there. I said I would go there, too. I promised not to pressure her. I never went to school. But Belinda didn’t know that.”