“Funny attitude,” said Adrian, “seeing as you purposely chose to become one.”

Sonya paled, and I felt torn. I appreciated Adrian’s defense but also pitied Sonya. She’d explained to me in the past about how spirit’s instability—the same instability Adrian feared—had driven her to turning Strigoi. Looking back at her decision, she regretted it more than anything else in her life. She would’ve submitted herself for punishment, but no court knew how to handle her situation.

“Doing that was a mistake,” she said coldly. “One I’ve learned from—which is why I’m so anxious to save others from that fate.”

“Well, then find a way to do it without dragging Sydney into it! You know how she feels about us…” Adrian faltered as he glanced at me, and I was surprised to almost detect bitterness in his voice. “You know how the Alchemists feel. Keep involving her, and you’ll get her in trouble with them. And if you’re so convinced they’ve got the answers, ask them for volunteers and do experiments that way.”

“I’d help with that,” I offered. “Getting authorized subjects for you. I’d talk to my superiors. They’d like to see an end to Strigoi as much as you.”

When Sonya didn’t answer right away, Adrian guessed why. “She knows they’d say no, Sage. That’s why she’s appealing to you directly and why they didn’t send your blood to an Alchemist lab.”

“Why can’t you both see how important this is?” asked Sonya, a desperate longing to do good in her eyes. It made me feel guilty and conflicted.

“I do,” said Adrian. “You think I don’t want to see every single one of those bastard Strigoi wiped from the face of the earth? I do! But not at the cost of forcing people to do things they don’t want to.”

Sonya gave him a long, level look. “I think you’re letting your personal feelings interfere with this. Your emotions are going to ruin our research.”

He smiled. “Well, then. Be glad you’ll be free of me in two days.”

Sonya glanced between the two of us, looked like she was about to protest, and then thought better of it. Without another word she left, her face defeated. Again, I felt torn. In theory, I knew she was right… but my gut just couldn’t agree.

“I didn’t mean to upset her,” I said at last.

Adrian’s face showed no sympathy. “She shouldn’t have upset you. She knows how you feel.”

I still felt a little bad, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I gave this, I’d be asked to give more and more. I recalled the day Eddie and Dimitri had been coated in spirit magic. No way could I risk getting involved to that level. I was already pushing my limits too far. “I know… but it’s hard,” I said. “I like Sonya. I gave her the first vial, so I can see why she thought the second would be easy.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said. “No is no.”